Oh no

People.com ran a story this morning that Taylor Momsen, Jenny from GG, has been hospitalized with "a severe, potentially life-threatening throat infection" but that she is expected to make a full recovery and return to work on Friday. I'm sorry but what? She almost died but she's going to be fine? Is that even possible? Is this story even true? I'm confused, but perhaps that's because I was distracted by the picture of her awful new haircut, which you can see here. It is nice to hear that's she ok, though, as GG wouldn't be the same without her awkward faces and desire for fame and power. Feel better Little J.

Clip of the Day: Oh Lucille

Because I heard they took her off contract on that awful 90210 show:

"Somebody's a Bitch"

It feels like I'm live blogging tonight. Anyway, I'm watching Dirty Sexy Money right now, and I have to say, I love Karen Darling. Her ditzy socialite act is amazing and endearing, and we all know she's only being half serious since she's acting as her father's spy by sleeping with the enemy. Obviously the girl's got brains, but then she goes and calls Lisa a bitch and accuses her of being hormonal. Brilliant. Just wanted to say that.

A Quick Thought on The Mentalist

I love The Mentalist: I think it's funny and interesting and easy TV watching. One thing though: In the three episodes I've seen, the culprit has appeared in the opening scene. I get that this is par for the course with a procedural, but it would be nice if they changed it up so that wasn't the case. It would be nice. I will say though that I enjoy the way they reveal the culprit because it's usually pretty great, mostly because Simon Baker does a good job of playing the know-it-all. I think this may be my favorite new show of the season (probably because it requires the least effort on my part--all of this TV watching is exhausting, but this one makes it feel easy).

I Knew It!

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Spoiler warning for those who haven't seen Monday's HIMYM: Stella is NOT the mother. Shocking? Not really. The title of the show is How I MET Your Mother, not how I MARRIED Your Mother. Mark my words, boys and girls, this show will end with Ted meeting his future wife, then Future Ted saying "And that kids, is How I Met Your Mother."
That being said, I think it was kind of shitty to have Stella run off with her ex. Believable, but still shitty. But Ted was certainly not ready to get married. Especially not in some hippy, dippy yogalates ceremony. The good thing is that this now sets us up for Ted and Robin to become roommates, which was teased in Ted's birthday episode from last year, and now will happen. Perhaps we'll also get to see the goat again as well.

Other things I liked:

• Stella's sister. She was definitely above the curve on the Hot-Crazy Scale. There was no way Barney could resist this ex-vegan begging for, um, meat (snicker, snicker, snicker).
• The faces Barney, Lily, and Marshall made when they found out the yoga center had no alcohol and no meat.
• Robin working on the Japanese news-game show. Loved that monkey.

Sorry to keep that one short, but just wanted to get those ideas out there. I can't wait to see how Ted recovers next week.

Clip of the Day: Womanizer

Because I thought this was very entertaining:

Clip of the Day: Say Hello to Your Mother For Me

Because aside from Sarah Palin this was the funniest thing about SNL the other night (and I've included the first clip from two weeks ago as a refresher):

Gossip Girl + Cruel Intentions = My Brain Exploding From all the Awesome

Oh wow. It's Monday again, and you know what that means: GOSSIP GIRL. This show has really hit it's stride. When I think back to season 2 of The O.C., the other Josh Schwartz show, by episode 7, which is where we are, that crap was already in decline, whereas with this wonder things are just starting to heat up again, and boy did they heat up tonight.

While there was a lot of good stuff in tonight's episode, I think the first thing we must address is what I will call the Cruel Intentions plot, because that's what it was. Blair was Sarah Michelle Gellar, Chuck was Ryan Phillipe, and Vanessa was Reese Witherspoon. B wanted Chuck to seduce and humiliate V but then freaked out when it seemed like Chuck might actually care for V. This leads B to verbally attack V herself, which Chuck doesn't like, but then after losing his chance with V (for the moment it seems) Chuck goes to B's boudoir, where she's sitting waiting for him with candles and sexy lingerie and OVERLOAD OVERLOAD OVERLOAD.......Anthony's brain rebooting in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.......ok, B and Chuck start to go at it, but then Chuck (in a nice nod to the season premiere) asks B to say the three little words he couldn't say himself, but she doesn't. Chuck, supposedly changed now from his interactions with V, tells B that she'll have to chase him from now on, since he's done chasing her. He leaves without any sex, to which I say: DUDE, sexy girl who is CLEARLY in love with you regardless of what she says wants to HAVE SEX WITH YOU (you who have been impotent to all other girls besides her btw) and YOU WALK AWAY BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T SAY I LOVE YOU?!! Who are you, Dan Humphrey? Jeez, seriously. I will say that I hope they don't drag out this tension between the two for too, too much longer, because although I really enjoy it, I'm afraid that the buildup is never going to live up to the reality. (I was going to make a joke about blue balls, but didn't--not because I think it's beneath me, but rather because it would probably sound creepy. Moving on.)

In the night's other main plot, Serena has decided to rebel against Lily and Bart's new family rules. You know what that means: Serena + rebelling = my brain exploding. Do not look directly at her, boys and girls, her glow will blind you. Like it did when the camera gave her the once over in that red dress before she broke curfew. Or like it did when she delivered the verbal smackdown on her mother in front of a room full of guests, which I must say was amazing. There are few shows that can me nake me cringe in horror at what I'm watching and yet keep me so enthralled that I cannot look away. I watched the episode with my friend Julia and by the end of S's rant we both had our hands over our mouths. While Serena was somewhat justified in being resentful (having to remember the difference between Klaus and Claus would make me crazy) she should be a bit more respectful of her mother, who if I remember correctly, only married her current husband because Serena asked her not to run away with the love of her life. That being said, I don't want anyone to think I'm actually criticizing Serena, because I would never want it to get back to her that I said something negative, because I love her. (Do you hear me, S?)

In the evening's C-plot. Annoying Dan and Poor Little Rich Boy Nate continue hanging out together since everyone else on this show is too interesting to be around them. Nate is squatting in his family's mansion (oh poor little rich boy) until Dan finds out, invites Nate over for dinner, then invites him to stay, to which Nate says no, and then yes (and this sounds a lot like the plot of a 7th Heaven episode, which means BLEEEEEEEEECH).

Other things I liked:

• Seeing Duchess COUGAR in the previouslies, for obvious reasons that have been well hashed out here.
• Dan playing soccer, if only because it's refreshing to watch him act completely lame about something new instead of (1) being a writer or (2) judging Serena
• Bart Bass, because I KNOW he's up to something and I want to know what it is.
  
• The look on Blair's face when she saw Chuck with Vanessa.
• Lily van der Woodsen.
• The minimal number of Rufus sightings.

Things I did not like:

• S apologizing to Dan for being mean to him. S, don't you remember he GOADED YOU INTO IT? And don't you remember that he's awful? New Serena apologizes to NO ONE.
  

Quotes time:

"Bart and me, we made the decision together. We are in complete agreement on this matter."--Lily. I'm so sure you did, Lil, I'm so sure.

"Archibald, isn't it about time you ended this bromance? What happens at Yale, stays at Yale."--Chuck to Nate about Dan. Hah.

"What are you doing here with those? Shouldn't you be at Whole Foods?"--B to V

"Oh I forgot to put on underwear."--S to Bart. (BRAIN EXPLODING!!!!!)

"Dan I know that you're Mr. Soccer now, but we both know that you prefer to hang out with girls."--J to Dan. Double hah.

"Careful B, one thing about making a deal with the devil, he always comes to collect."--GG

"Did you have a reason for coming here? If it was to insult me there's a website you can go to."--Chuck to Vanessa

"Rum runner. Womanizer. Millionaire. He was my kind of guy."--Chuck about Joe Kennedy

"Don't forget that weekend with Sarkozy. You made us go to Euro Disney."--Eric to Lily

"What took you so long?" "If you thought that was long, you have no idea what you're in for."--Chuck and Blair (BRAIN EXPLODING AGAIN! And a very good line. That one's gong into the bank).

My DVR cut out the scenes from next week, so I will just have to wait with baited breath until it's up on YouTube. T-minus one week until the next new episode. You should start preparing yourself now.

Clip of the Day: The Real One

Because I wish she would have done some fancy pageant walking (and I loved the Mark Wahlberg cameo). I've also included the wonderful Palin Raps sketch:

Clip of the Day: Dementia Looks Scary

Because that what you must have if you're an adult and you have imaginary little friends, right?:

Clip of the Day: Catfight

Because do I really need to explain why?:

Clip of the Day: My Name Is.......

Because they mentioned Credit Dauphine last night on Eli Stone. Can you find Credit Dauphine in this clip?:

Clip(s) of the Day: My Fair Lady is a Bitch

Because B is wonderful.....wonderfully bitchy:

True Story: Ivy League Schools Make People Go Bat-Shit Crazy

Is it the red-brick buildings? The grassy quads? The wood paneled libraries? The smell of money in the air? Whatever it is, something about Ivy League schools turns normal, studious teenagers into crazy, desperate, will-do-absolutely-positively-anything-to-get-in-yes-anything people. Or wait, may it's just the real Ivies (just kidding!). Tonight Gossip Girl went to Yale, and we were all the better for it, the much, much better for it. So what did our little boys and girls do to try to get into Yale? Let's review:

• S, who was originally supposed to spend the weekend at Brown but instead went to Yale to piss off Blair b/c she had received a personal invitation from the Dean who had been following her page 6 exploits, charmed everyone she came into contact with as they all bowed down to the altar of Serena (like all good boys and girls do).
• B, desperate to impress the Dean and outshine Serena (as if that could happen), became increasingly unhinged as she tried to score an invite to the Dean's private party, going so far as to bribe the Dean's secretary with porcelain cats and sabotage Serena during the Dean's parlor game by mentioning the guy she killed (although she didn't actually kill him as we remember from last spring--and kudos to Serena for not letting it get to her, girl is going to be wonderful at whatever she winds up doing in life).
• Dan, the poor boy from the expensive loft in Brooklyn, spent the weekend trying to get an additional recommendation letter because he had to make up for the one he was totally responsible for not getting, being judgemental, and getting tied up by the Skull and Bones, who thought he was Nate. Speaking of...
• Nate, the poor little rich boy, spent the weekend using his man bangs to attract pretty English students, pretending to be Dan Humphrey, befriending Dan Humphrey, and wearing my blue argyle sweater from Banana Republic.
• Chuck Bass spent the weekend being Chuck Bass, which involved trying to impress the Skull and Bones-ites, then totally fucking them over when they wanted him to betray Nate. He gave them Dan instead, which neither they, nor Nate, nor Dan appreciated.

In the evening's C- minus plot, Jenny is still an awesome designer and will still be dropping out of school to still be Eleanor's protege while Rufus still disapproved and was still in love with Lily (who looked very cougarish tonight) while Vanessa was still boring and annoying and up in other people's business because she has none of her own. That about covers that.

Other things I liked:

• The My Fair Lady/Pygmalion opening sequence, because it provides further evidence that this is a very smart show. Other evidence: the literary references (Marquez and Georges Sand tonight)
• The way the show talked about the weird dynamics between the different Ivies, which is tough to understand if you don't know, but the show obviously does. Also, mentioning Senator's Schumer's daughter, who does indeed go to Harvard, was a nice realistic touch.
  
• THE CATFIGHT. I've waited until now to mention THE CATFIGHT because it wasn't quite as good as I had hoped, but it was still pretty FREAKING AWESOME. I love it when S and B throw down, and I like it when they make up, because then B can direct her manipulative crazy at someone else, which it seems like she's going to do next week (YES!)
• Serena talking about the Tudors, because this show makes good pop culture references, and I love good pop culture references.
• This quote from Michael Ausiello, from a story saying that we will be getting TWO EXTRA EPISODES OF GG this season, because I think it's pretty on point: "BTW, Gossip Girl is all new tonight. It's the episode where Serena and Blair beat the crap out of each other and I, in turn, thank God for inventing TV."

Thing I didn't like:

• The parting shot, which was of Columbia, not Yale (minor point I know, but I had to put something here, or else it would make me seem biased, because I'm not biased toward this show..........yeah right).

And now time for quotes (there's a bunch tonight):

"If there's one thing I know, its that I give good interview. I could make Larry King cry."--B (I bet she really could).

"I heard Marc Jacobs named a purse after her."--Dorota about S

"Everyone knows that the only real Ivies are the Holy Trinity: Harvard, Yale, and Princeton."--B (Zing!)

"Have fun in Providence, and maybe you can get your hair dreadlocked while you're there."--B to S about Brown

"When it comes to war, the rule is never retreat, never surrender....but whoever said that, never met the new Serena."--GG (even GG calls her new Serena)

"What's your answer? Let me guess: Lauren Conrad."--B to S. (In reality, I think Lauren Conrad would want to meet S, not the other way around).

"Do you ever get tired of carrying that chip on your shoulder around? No wonder Serena dumped you."--Nate to Dan (Thank you, Nate, for saying what everyone else is always thinking).

"I hate that stupid headband."--S to B during the catfight.

"You may be the future leaders of America, but you're under the control of Chuck Bass. I own you."--Chuck Bass (That was awesome)

I love this show, and I'm really looking forward to next week, when it seems like the show will be reenacting the plot of Cruel Intentions, which will probably make time stop and the universe explode.

I. CAN'T. WAIT.

Clip of the Day: Second Life

Because it's Monday and I don't want to go to my life:

Clip of the Day, Part Deux: "Why the Steak Coupons?"

Because Meredith is just a little bit crazy (and for a change I'm not talking about Meredith from Grey's):

Clip of the Day: Really?!!

Because they're saying what everyone else is thinking:

Middle School is Never Over, Holly, Not in Scranton

So we're back to half hour episodes of The Office, which is fine, but I feel like not much happened tonight. Holly tried to the Scranton branch about ethics, which is the equivalent of herding cats in the middle of a tornado. Instead she uncovered that Meredith was a having a secret relationship with the office supply distributor in exchange for discounts and Outback gift certificates (hilarious). When she tried to get Meredith in trouble, she simply got her self ostracized, just like when she was a hall monitor in middle school. In the end, Michael eventually rose to her defense (after acting childishly mean to her for a while) so things went back to normal, or as normal as they ever get with those wacky Scranton folk.

Other things I liked:

• Jim monitoring Dwight's personal time at work. (I did not like seeing Dwight pee into the bottle however.)
• Michael and Holly's coordinated dance.
  
• Dwight's sly look at the camera after he took some "personal time." Dwight, you dog, you.
  
• Michael tackling Jim after finding out about his and Pam's engagement.

Things I did not like:

• The complete lack of Pam. Don't let it happen again show.
  

And that was really about it. It was a fine episode, but I hope next week is better. And now I will leave you with some quotes:

"I think we can all totally agree that Holly is totally fantastic."--Michael

"It's a trick question--the bread is poisioned. And it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male."--Dwight to Andy. Hah.

"What I don't understand is.....why the steak coupons?"--Holly

"I just don't want employees thinking their jobs depend on performance. What kind of place is that?"--Michael

Rain, Rain, Go Away, But Please Let Dr. Wyatt Stay

Rain is nice. Rain is cleansing. Tonight's Grey's was full of rain (ok it was water from a burst pipe, but that doesn't work with my metaphor), and boy did we need it. We're two weeks removed from the nice, but awfully long and expository season premiere, and tonight's episode washed away that boringness and brought us some nice good Grey's. We had lots of interactions between the main characters, a nice balance between medical and personal, and good acting from our main stars. Let's break it down.

Stuff I liked:

• Dr. Wyatt. I don't think we can ever see enough of that lady. I want Meredith to stay in therapy forever.
• The Chief being a hardass. These people need to learn how to be professional in their workplace. I did not approve of him yelling at Bailey though, but in the end she was right and he was grovelling (a bit) so I guess it all worked out.
• Sandra Oh's face twitching and Ellen Pompeo's eyes bulging. They were blink and you miss them moments, but they were nice touches by two fine actresses.
• Callie and Hahn and Sloan, because I like the way they interact with each other.
• Alex calling Lexi a lexipedia because of her photographic memory, Hah.
  

Things I did not like:

• Alex treating Izzie like an ass but then revealing that he's secretly in love with her. I'm sorry, this is not the fifth grade.
• Derek trying to get Alex and Izzie to move out. Baby steps, dude, or do you want Mer to run out on you? (Kudos to Mer for standing up to him at the end).
• The drama surrounding George taking his test, but perhaps that's because I'm sick of George. Lexi can do better.

And now it's time for a special weekly feature for Grey's--The BSCI Index. As you may or may not know, BSCI stands for Bat Shit Crazy Izzie. Given the characters past behavior (see cutting the LVAD wire, sleeping with George, performing a procedure on deer, etc.), I think it's important that we monitor her behavior on a weekly basis. The BSCI Index ranges from 1 to 10, where one is doing something normal like breathing and not speaking and 10 is her making the crazy eyes and stealing hearts from other transplant patients. Now given her limited number of weird outbursts this evening (the muffin incident near the beginning of the episode) coupled with her actually acting like a human being (acting sad and telling Mer she felt like she had no one), I think we can safely set the BSCI Index for this evening at a 4.5. Not too bad for our resident psycho, I must say. Now time for some quotes:


"Eat the muffin. Taste the muffin. Remember the muffin."--Izzie. Was that a sexual metaphor?

"The hair, it's one of the things that makes me happy."--Mer about Der.

"What would you prefer Meredith: chocolate cake or an STD?"--Izzie. Well this time she's talking about sex without a metaphor.


All in all a good episode, and the previews for next week look good as well. I think Grey's may have returned to form, and that makes me very happy.

Clip of the Day: I Love Her

Because while I don't usually post compilation videos, I'll make an exception for Veronica:

Clip of the Day: Maverick-y

Because I watched this 5 times at work yesterday and it didn't get any less funny:

Clip of the Day, Part Three: DANGER!

Because I know I should stop watching Friends clips and get ready for work, but I don't want to:

Clip of the Day, Part Deux: Gladys

Because I came across this after I saw the other one, and I forgot how funny it is:

Clip of the Day: Have I Ever Told You About the Time I Went Backpacking in Western Europe?

Because while I wasn't actually backpacking, I was travelling, and didn't have time to post, and I'm very, very sorry about that:

Clip of the Day: "I Love Games"

Because I was in the mood for Alias clip, and Irina clips are always so good: