Because no matter what happens, I don't think we'll ever get rid of her (and that's a good thing):
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
One More Awesome Plot Twist and I'm Getting Whiplash
THAT. WAS. FUCKING. AWESOME. I don't understand why more people don't watch this show. Seriously. This was the OMFGG episode we were supposed to get last week but didn't. Don't get me wrong, last week was good. But this week was SO. MUCH. BETTER. Let's jump in, shall we?
So Bart died. Surprised? Didn't think so. Anyone who didn't see this coming eventually (1) has never seen a Josh Schwartz show and (2) is probably a little boring and without good TV imagination and is thus someone I never want to be friends with. Anyway, Bart is dead, which means there is funeral, which means everyone on the UES will lose their shit. Lily is acting like a funeralzilla yelling about tuna that's not comfort food. Chuck is acting like a bat out of hell. Blair is acting sweet and caring and nice. And Serena is sporting the least amount of cleavage anyone has seen from her all year. That's when you know things are bad.
Ok so I'm just going to go ahead and get Chuck and Lily out of the way right now since their stories are intertwined and BY FAR the most interesting. They spend the entire episode engaged in a bit of a game of cat and mouse regarding the Bart's PI and the information he has on Lily's stint in the institution in France. Chuck, who is really, really, really torn up, offers to pay off the PI, calls Lily a bunch of really awful names, pushes Blair away, and eventually gets the papers. Lily, who is ready to move on fairly quickly with Rufus (I'm calling their pairing Lilfus, btw), tries to reach out to Chuck, which, while hypocritical, is a little sweet. Sweet until she accuses Chuck of being responsible for Bart's death ("You never should have called him, Charles.") This leads to a nice little exchange, which ends with Lily slapping Chuck. Wow. Lily then makes plans to run away with Rufus, but Chuck shows up one last time (back lit by that awesome fireplace which totally makes him look like the devil) and threatens to release the story to the papers. Lily gives him some spiel about not turning away the people you love, and Chuck then burns the papers. Lily's secret seems safe, that is until Granny, who's been in town seeing her daughter through the crisis, goes to Rufus to tell him the truth, because according to Granny Lilfus can't be happy until they've put the past behind them. So instead of running away together, Rufus goes to Grand Central to confront Lily about THEIR SECRET LOVE CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually, was anyone really surprised by that revelation? Not that it wasn't freaking awesome. Here's a few in the moment reactions:
Tali: god i love this show
Julia: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Hilary: Best episode yet
Seriously, I cannot wait to meet the secret baby, which will probably happen in the season finale. You heard it here first.
In tonight's B-for-where-the-fuck-were-Serena's-boobs plot, that dirty fuck Aaron is still around. I fucking hate that guy. Dude couldn't even wear a tie to Bart's funeral. Asshole. Thank god Dan is making him feel all insecure. Aaron invites S to go to Buenos Aires with him for Christmas, which proves he is a self-centered fuck, because wouldn't he think Serena would want to be with her mom after HER STEP-DAD DIED? Douchebag. S gets all weirded out by it because she totally still has feelings for Dan, and she basically asks him to ask her not to go. Dan, who for like two seconds was making me think he had the potential to be cool, becomes the complete douchebag asshole we all know him to be and tells S that he's not going to play her game and then runs off. He goes to Rufus, who makes him realize that HE WILL NEVER DO BETTER THAN SERENA BECAUSE SHE IS A GODDESS. He goes back to S, but it's too late, because Lily has already asked her to let Lilfus exist, and Serena's told Aaron she's going with him. And she does, and we're subjected to a limo ride where Aaron tells her he "thinks he might be falling in love with her." Jackass. I fucking hate him. It pains me to think he's getting close to the boobs. He DOES NOT DESERVE THE BOOBS!!!!
Now it's time for poor, poor Blair. I feel bad for Blair. She's been trying to reach out to Chuck and be there for him, but he's just been pushing her away. This leads her to sit at the breakfast table with Cyrus and tell her how to smear her bagel. Blair Waldorf is now letting Cyrus to tell her what to do. That's how you know girl is sad. She's a trooper though and tracks down Chuck and makes sure he gets to the funeral and the luncheon (with Nate's help, but since Nate has like three lines tonight and got back together with that hot mess Vanessa last week, I'm going to ignore). When Chuck flees the luncheon after his slap from Lily, Blair runs after him and does something I never, ever, thought she would do. She says the THREE LITTLE WORDS, the ones that have cast a shadow over the Blair-Chuck relationship ever since the showdown at the White Party. And what does Chuck do? He flees. This makes Blair even sadder, until she gets some wise words and comfort from Cyrus, which WTF? Blair even asks him to hug her longer, which is funny since Blair doesn't hug. I swear Cyrus must be drugging her. After Cyrus and Eleanor's wedding (did I not mention they decided to get married the day after Bart's funeral. I'm sorry there have been way to many plot twists. Let me also tell you then that Little J offered to make Eleanor's wedding jacket to make amends for acting like a heinous bitch a month ago), Blair finds Chuck waiting for her in her bedroom, crying. She holds him and he falls asleep in her arms. You would be heartless not to be moved by this. Heartless. Blair watches him sleep, but in the morning when she wakes up, all she finds is note from Chuck telling her she deserves better and not to come after him. He is tortured soul that Chuck Bass and I cannot wait for him and Blair to get together because it is going to be A-Fucking-Mazing.
Seriously, this episode was terrific: we barely saw Jenny and Nate, we didn't see that awful, awful, heinous, awful, Vanessa at all, we had DOROTA (She was Eleanor's bridesmaid!), and we had more OMFG than we've seen in a while. I think this was the perfect cliffhanger, since we won't be seeing GG until the new year. I just hope Lilfus and Bluck (Blair and Chuck, do we like that one?) can work it out. I will leave you with the best quotes:
"Lily? Bitch is the reason my father is dead."--Chuck to the PI. That was cold.
"Dan, I want you here." "It's ok let him go."--S and Aaron. SHE SHOULD LET YOU GO DOUCHEBAG.
"I'm not maternal, I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus, and I'm turning Jewish."--Queen B
"I do not have the time, the energy, or the mental capacity to go head to head with Chuck."--Lily. No you don't, Lil, no you don't.
"Is that Jenny Humphrey? WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!"--Eleanor. I love her.
So Bart died. Surprised? Didn't think so. Anyone who didn't see this coming eventually (1) has never seen a Josh Schwartz show and (2) is probably a little boring and without good TV imagination and is thus someone I never want to be friends with. Anyway, Bart is dead, which means there is funeral, which means everyone on the UES will lose their shit. Lily is acting like a funeralzilla yelling about tuna that's not comfort food. Chuck is acting like a bat out of hell. Blair is acting sweet and caring and nice. And Serena is sporting the least amount of cleavage anyone has seen from her all year. That's when you know things are bad.
Ok so I'm just going to go ahead and get Chuck and Lily out of the way right now since their stories are intertwined and BY FAR the most interesting. They spend the entire episode engaged in a bit of a game of cat and mouse regarding the Bart's PI and the information he has on Lily's stint in the institution in France. Chuck, who is really, really, really torn up, offers to pay off the PI, calls Lily a bunch of really awful names, pushes Blair away, and eventually gets the papers. Lily, who is ready to move on fairly quickly with Rufus (I'm calling their pairing Lilfus, btw), tries to reach out to Chuck, which, while hypocritical, is a little sweet. Sweet until she accuses Chuck of being responsible for Bart's death ("You never should have called him, Charles.") This leads to a nice little exchange, which ends with Lily slapping Chuck. Wow. Lily then makes plans to run away with Rufus, but Chuck shows up one last time (back lit by that awesome fireplace which totally makes him look like the devil) and threatens to release the story to the papers. Lily gives him some spiel about not turning away the people you love, and Chuck then burns the papers. Lily's secret seems safe, that is until Granny, who's been in town seeing her daughter through the crisis, goes to Rufus to tell him the truth, because according to Granny Lilfus can't be happy until they've put the past behind them. So instead of running away together, Rufus goes to Grand Central to confront Lily about THEIR SECRET LOVE CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Actually, was anyone really surprised by that revelation? Not that it wasn't freaking awesome. Here's a few in the moment reactions:
Tali: god i love this show
Julia: OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
Hilary: Best episode yet
Seriously, I cannot wait to meet the secret baby, which will probably happen in the season finale. You heard it here first.
In tonight's B-for-where-the-fuck-were-Serena's-boobs plot, that dirty fuck Aaron is still around. I fucking hate that guy. Dude couldn't even wear a tie to Bart's funeral. Asshole. Thank god Dan is making him feel all insecure. Aaron invites S to go to Buenos Aires with him for Christmas, which proves he is a self-centered fuck, because wouldn't he think Serena would want to be with her mom after HER STEP-DAD DIED? Douchebag. S gets all weirded out by it because she totally still has feelings for Dan, and she basically asks him to ask her not to go. Dan, who for like two seconds was making me think he had the potential to be cool, becomes the complete douchebag asshole we all know him to be and tells S that he's not going to play her game and then runs off. He goes to Rufus, who makes him realize that HE WILL NEVER DO BETTER THAN SERENA BECAUSE SHE IS A GODDESS. He goes back to S, but it's too late, because Lily has already asked her to let Lilfus exist, and Serena's told Aaron she's going with him. And she does, and we're subjected to a limo ride where Aaron tells her he "thinks he might be falling in love with her." Jackass. I fucking hate him. It pains me to think he's getting close to the boobs. He DOES NOT DESERVE THE BOOBS!!!!
Now it's time for poor, poor Blair. I feel bad for Blair. She's been trying to reach out to Chuck and be there for him, but he's just been pushing her away. This leads her to sit at the breakfast table with Cyrus and tell her how to smear her bagel. Blair Waldorf is now letting Cyrus to tell her what to do. That's how you know girl is sad. She's a trooper though and tracks down Chuck and makes sure he gets to the funeral and the luncheon (with Nate's help, but since Nate has like three lines tonight and got back together with that hot mess Vanessa last week, I'm going to ignore). When Chuck flees the luncheon after his slap from Lily, Blair runs after him and does something I never, ever, thought she would do. She says the THREE LITTLE WORDS, the ones that have cast a shadow over the Blair-Chuck relationship ever since the showdown at the White Party. And what does Chuck do? He flees. This makes Blair even sadder, until she gets some wise words and comfort from Cyrus, which WTF? Blair even asks him to hug her longer, which is funny since Blair doesn't hug. I swear Cyrus must be drugging her. After Cyrus and Eleanor's wedding (did I not mention they decided to get married the day after Bart's funeral. I'm sorry there have been way to many plot twists. Let me also tell you then that Little J offered to make Eleanor's wedding jacket to make amends for acting like a heinous bitch a month ago), Blair finds Chuck waiting for her in her bedroom, crying. She holds him and he falls asleep in her arms. You would be heartless not to be moved by this. Heartless. Blair watches him sleep, but in the morning when she wakes up, all she finds is note from Chuck telling her she deserves better and not to come after him. He is tortured soul that Chuck Bass and I cannot wait for him and Blair to get together because it is going to be A-Fucking-Mazing.
Seriously, this episode was terrific: we barely saw Jenny and Nate, we didn't see that awful, awful, heinous, awful, Vanessa at all, we had DOROTA (She was Eleanor's bridesmaid!), and we had more OMFG than we've seen in a while. I think this was the perfect cliffhanger, since we won't be seeing GG until the new year. I just hope Lilfus and Bluck (Blair and Chuck, do we like that one?) can work it out. I will leave you with the best quotes:
"Lily? Bitch is the reason my father is dead."--Chuck to the PI. That was cold.
"Dan, I want you here." "It's ok let him go."--S and Aaron. SHE SHOULD LET YOU GO DOUCHEBAG.
"I'm not maternal, I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus, and I'm turning Jewish."--Queen B
"I do not have the time, the energy, or the mental capacity to go head to head with Chuck."--Lily. No you don't, Lil, no you don't.
"Is that Jenny Humphrey? WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES?!"--Eleanor. I love her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
