Tonight on American Id......ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

So I just watched the first semifinal episode, and I have to say, I was rather unimpressed. Most of these people were snoozers, even that crazy Tatiana, who the judges poked and prodded to get her to do something bonkers, but to no avail. I was really bored watching this episode and I hope next week is better. I think this semifinal format was a big mistake. There's no chance to get invested in any of these singers. I'm not going to bother breaking it down, but I'll give you my predictions for who gets through: Anoop Desai, Alexis Grace, and Danny Gokey.

Clip of the Day: "Go F**k Yourself"

Because no one likes to be told they're unoriginal:

Clip of the Day (Redux): Alas

Because now I really can identify with Karen's comment even more. I miss you all (you know who you are):

I FUCKING LOVE THIS SHOW

Ok, so I'm spending today catching up FNL. I was planning on writing a longer post about all of the reasons why I think this is the most wonderful show in the history of television. But I can't wait for that to say this: Mrs. McCoy just said she read The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. For those of you that know me personally, you know I fucking love Malcolm Gladwell. Malcolm Gladwell + Friday Night Lights = J.I.M.P. (And for those of you that don't know what J.I.M.P. is, see the clip below):

It Was Only a Matter of Time....

Bravo is in production on a new reality show that follows the lives of teenagers at a New York prep school. Sound familiar? Yeah, they're totally trying to rip off our beloved GG. Problem is, I don't want to watch a show about actual teenagers that act the way the GG characters do, because that would make me sad for our future youth. Read the full story here. Thoughts?

Clip of the Day: Where Could I Be?

Because I caught this episode the other night and I forgot how much I liked it:

Patty Hewes: Castrating Men Since 1952

I'm worried about Damages. The frame story isn't strong, it isn't being used consistently, and the subplots are confliciting and distracting. It's like there are three different people arguing about what the season should about:

"This season is about Ellen's revenge!"

"No, it's about Ultima National Resources!"

"No it's about Patty versus Purcell!"

Even more troubling is the continued presence of Darrell Hammond, who I cannot look at without hearing "Like my friend, Joe the Plumber" from those SNL skits. It's terrible. The reintroduction of Katie Conner and the creepy cops from last season, while necessary, also make it feel like the show is moving backward. I think this show works the best when it has one plot to have it's characters conspire around. All this other stuff is distracting.

I'm going to ignore the questions format tonight, because the episode was pretty straightforward. Instead there are three things I would like to address:

1) Claire Maddox is a Naughty Girl
She is. She dumps Purcell, saying things have gotten too complicated. There are rumors that she's sleeping with Kendrick (which I don't think are true, but hey, you never know). Then she lets the young waiter from dinner take her home, and then leaves him to go smoke a cigarette alone. I bet she's freaky nasty. Since she seems a little older than a traditional cougar, I will from here on refer to her as Jaguar. Jaguar also totally had Patty's number about filing a shareholder lawsuit. That reminds me.....

2) FROBISHER IS THE PLAINTIFF
What. The. Fuck. Patty Hewes is one mean, mean, mean bitch. She humiliated this man, took everything he had away from him, and now he's willing to work with her? My guess is that he thinks he'll be able to take over UNR once Kendrick is ousted, which will never happen. I also think this is a way for Patty to start fucking with Ellen, because I think Patty knows Ellen is working with the Feds, given that Ellen insists on getting into random cars with them in broad daylight. If so, Patty is the BEST VILLAIN EVER, because that is cold. Cold, cold, cold.

3) Glenn Close is Scary Amazing
I know, I know you're sick of hearing this, but I just wanted to call out one thing: the courtroom scene at the end, when Patty is staring at Kendrick sizing him up, that was by far one of the best moments of the episode and didn't even require dialogue. I think I might be able to watch a show that solely consisted of Glenn Close making faces at people, because as I've said before, she says more with a single look than most people say with a 2 minute monologue. They should get Daniel Day Lewis on this show so he can make some of Daniel Plainview faces at her and she could make her Patty faces at him and we could all watch in awe.

Ok, so I'm going to stop there. I CANNOT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK WHEN ELLEN FINDS OUT ABOUT FROBIE. IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME. (And will hopefully assuage some of my fears about the show).

I Just Got a Nosebleed Because My Brain Can No Longer Keep Up With This Show

Ok so things I need to cover before I jump into this week's episode: (1) JIN IS ALIVE and (2) No one ever thought Faraday's mother was the woman in the bed, aside from me, which I will chalk up to my general confusion surrounding this show. Ok so having covered that, let me say: I have no fucking clue what is going on. Additionally, the time travel stuff is creating a lot of headaches for me, because I do not have any good answers. Ok so here are the big questions this week:

• What the fuck is that wheel thing? Locke returned to the Orchid or the Well or whatever the fuck we're calling the place Ben went to move the island and I have to tell you, shit got trippy. He fell down a well to get there, which disappeared during a time jump, thus leaving him trapped underground. It's ok though, because JACK'S DAD REAPPEARS AND TELLS HIM HE WILL HAVE TO SACRIFICE HIS LIFE TO SAVE THE ISLAND. Yeah. Also, the fucking wheel thing is all off it's magical hinges, which seems to be causing all the time jumps. Locke puts it back though, which makes me wonder if the time jumps will stop now, and additionally if that means the islanders will be stuck in whatever time period they are in.
  
• If Sawyer saw Claire and Kate in the woods, doesn't that mean there's another version of himself running around the island too? And this ladies and gentleman, is where my brain starts to hurt, because by jumping to a time after the crash, we jump to a point in a time where multiple versions of the same character exist, which means.......well I don't know what the fuck it means, but I hope it doesn't that they're going to start running into each other because it would have had to be something we would have already seen. And I'm pretty sure according t science fiction time rules you can't coexist with yourself in the same time period without the universe exploding........or at least my brain exploding from being so confused.
  
• Are we ever going to find out about Smokey the Monster? Because I'd really like to know (1) what it is---and don't give me that security system bullshit because I will fucking punch in the face, and (2) how old is that temple it lives in, because it sure looks pretty old with all those hieroglyphics in it. It obviously came from the same people as that fucking wheel in the ground, but I would like to see them soon.
  
• How awesome was it to see Rousseau's back story? Pretty awesome, although I don't remember if we ever knew she killed her husband. That's probably what drove her over the edge, that and Jin.
• How do we feel about Charlotte dying? Pretty indifferent. I never attached to those frieghter folk, mostly because I think anyone that wasn't a main cast member during season 1 is doomed to die before the series finale (for examples see: Ana Lucia, Libby, Mr. Eko, Carl, Alex, Naomi, all of those crazy freighter people from last season, etc.). I hope that Desmond, Ben, and Juliet are exceptions to that rule, though, because I like all of them way too much. That aside, I was happy to find out that Charlotte grew up on the island because it's interesting and totally fits. Now I will ask the question: WHO'S HER DADDY? And she thinks she met Faraday in the past? Prob because when Locke fixed the wheel it stuck the island in the past. (Also: wheel = wheel of time, just realized that). What does that mean for our favorite characters? And how the Oceanic 6 fix it by going back? No fucking clue, just thought I would ask. Additionally, when Charlotte said she only just remembered something, I wonder if the reason she only just remembered it was because the timeline was being reset within her brain as a result of the impact that the moves through time are having on the timeline. What's that? I'm not making sense again? Ok I'll move on.
  
• On a scale of 1 to touching, how good was the phone call from Sun's daughter? It was very touching. And now because I'm starting to get tired, one last question:
• Anyone else think the show is becoming to plot heavy? The thing I love about LOST is seeing how the character's backstories (or forward stories) provide context for the way they act in the main timeline of the show. Now that it seems the show has somewhat abandoned that premise to instead make an on/off island split, I feel like we might have lost (no pun intended) some of that character-driven stuff that made the show so great in the first place. I'm happy we're getting answers, don't get me wrong, I just would like more of the character stuff again. (I think this may also have to do with my own personal preference for shows sticking with the formal conventions they set up, or reinventing them, rather than just abandoning them, but that's just me).

Ok, I will stop there. I will leave to you to discuss other questions or propose other answers by using the comments. I will respond to any good ones.


Ok here you go. Is Sun going to kill Ben? Jin is alive! And it's Ji Yeon?

Aaron and Ji Yeon will play together. And that totally killed he resolve, or maybe not.

Will she believe him? How will Ben prove it?

Jin is alive! The numbers being broadcast over and over again. 1988, wow.

I love French accents. And young Rousseau is easy on the eyes.

And isn't he totaly fucking with the timeline? I think he is.

I need to stop asking the temporal questions, or else I'm totally going to confuse myself.

Les Autres. or another flash. Or smoke monster.

Smokey the bear. This explains Rousseau's craziness.

This is the it, the it that killed them.

Who knew it killed them all so quickly.

OMG they pulled off his arm?!!!!!

This is ridic

So this is when she takes up her rifle And there's a temple on the islanf? I've never see that one before.

Clearly covered in hieroglyphs. Decaying arm.

The smoke on the beach, that's either the day they took Alex or the day Rousseau lit the fire on the beach.

Music box?

And what do the other people see when the time travelers disappear?

Decaying dead bodies.

OMG she killed her husband.

And Jin keeps flashing too, but is he flashing to different palces than the others are.

They reunited!

Why you bring her back?

Sun now working with Ben, too much switching of sides I think?

And Locke is going to leave island now?

She speaks Klingon? And what with the season premiere and Faraday watching the Other?

Now we're getting little Blair witch, and what was the point of doing them back to back if not to kill off

Woah Rebecca MAder, you are scary, you totally have a career in remakes of Japanese horror films.

THis place is death, that's creepy.

What? I'm so confused.

What is The Well? The Well of Knowledge? Well of Time?

We knew she grew up on the Island? We knew it...........who is her Dad? WHO IS HER DAD?

WHAT DOES SHE REMEMBER?!!!!! CRAZY MAN THAT SCARED HER!!!!!!! IF SHE CAME BACK SHE WOULD DIE!!!!!! CRAZY OLD MAN WAS FARADAY!!!!!!

I wonder if there's sme kind of magic on his promise. Like a magic seal.

Oh Jin you are a good husband. You love your wife.

Locke is a crazy old man.

That happened way too quick.

And Charlotte is dying. So if Daniel went back in time.

How can his mother help?

She died. You had a good run Rebecca Mader, we will miss you. This death has none of the emotional impact I would have expected.

Ewww Locke has protruding bone.

Oh Christian Shepherd. SO CREEPY!!!!!

Oh he's so creepy............ok here was the emotional hook. Eloise Hawking.

Push the wheel back onto its axis.

Can you help me up? This feels really biblical.

Ben tring the wheel made it not work.

Locke put the wheel back in place. Does that mean the flashes will stop.

Mrs. Hawking's church?

Desmond.........about freaking time.

And why does she live at a church?

This adds to the creepiness.

Clip of the Day (Night): Perhaps a Bit Unrealistic, No?

Because the woman's voice kind of makes the whole thing seem like a joke ("there's a smoke monster, polar bear..."), which makes me want to kill her:

Clip of the Day: Some Musical Inspiration for Your Tuesday Morning

Because I find that this one always makes me want to do more:

Clip of the Day: Hot For Teacher

Because (1) everyone had that one teacher in high school they wanted to bang (excuse my language) and (2) I love the song in the background, "With a Heavy Heart (I Regret to Inform You)" by British band Does It Offend You, Yeah?, which I discovered a few months ago and I suggest you check out (their album makes great running music):

Clip of the Day: The Best of Last Night's The Office

Because clip 1 encompasses the way I think my office is going to feel today and clip 2 just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside: