Emmy Post-Mortem: Well That Was a Weird Show Wasn't It?

So the Emmys are over. I have to say that was one of the more entertaining Emmy telecasts I've seen in a while. Also, my predictions were way, way off. I was 4 for 10 for the major categories, but to be fair, some of those acting wins were total "WTF?"s, so I don't feel too bad. Plus, one of my "should win"s did win, which makes me feel nice. Let's look at each race in turn.

Supporting Actress, Comedy: I called Jane Krakowski as my should and will win, and alas, she did not. Kristen Chenoweth from Pushing Daisies took home the award and she could not have been a more gracious winner, so I really can't complain. Also, that funny glasses bit with all the nominees was a hoot.

Supporting Actor, Comedy: I called Neil Patrick Harris as my should and will win, and he didn't. Jon Cryer from Two and a Half Men did. I know what you're thinking. You're asking yourself, "Wait, I thought he was just kidding about the Two and a Half Men guys having a deal with the devil? He is kidding right?" Damned if I know. All I do know is that I hate Two and a Half Men and I cannot understand the Academy's interest in it when in almost all other categories its tastes skew more highbrow. NPH was robbed. ROBBED.

Lead Actres, Comedy: I called Tina Fey as my should and will win, but she didn't. Nope, Toni Colette took home the trophy, which would be surprising except for one little fact: Colette plays a character with multiple personality disorder, and awards shows go ape shit for the kind of stuff. The only thing more effective is when pretty actresses make themselves "ugly" for a role (i.e., gain weight, wear prosthetics). So congratulations Toni, but Tina, you're still my girl.

Lead Actor, Comedy: Alec Baldwin was my should and will win, and he DID. Woo hoo! Well deserved, Alec.

Comedy Series: How I Met Your Mother was my should win, 30 Rock was my will win, and 30 Rock did win. I wasn't surprised, but there was a small part of me that thought the Mother upset might happen. Perhaps now that the show is on the Academy's radar, next year it might be able to do it.

Supporting Actress, Drama: Chandra Wilson was my should win, I had no idea as to who would win, but Cherry Jones did win. She's great, I'm sure it's well deserved, but can we give Chandra Wilson an award one of these days, please?

Supporting Actor, Drama: Michael Emerson was my should win, William Hurt was my will win, but in the end Emerson did indeed win. Can I get a woo hoo? Dude deserved it. He has created one of the most terrible and complex television villains in Benjamin Linus. He seemed a little subdued during his acceptance speech, though, so I hope he's perked up so he can enjoy his night.

Lead Actress, Drama: Glenn Close was my should and will win, and she did win. Was anyone surprised? She's fantastic. I know some of you out there were pulling for Moss, and I'm sure she'll get hers one day, when Glenn Close isn't nominated. I love that Close called Patty Hewes the "role of a lifetime" because given some of the memorable characters she's played over the years, that's saying something. (I still have nightmares about her sitting in the corner turning the lightswitch off and on.)

Lead Actor, Drama: Jon Hamm was my should and will win, but Bryan Cranston did win. I've got to start watching Breaking Bad to see what this guy is all about, because winning back to back awards in this day and age is very difficult to do. Kudos.

Drama Series: LOST was my should win, Mad Men was my will win, and Mad Men did win. Again, not shocked, but hoping that the Academy gave the award to Mad Men this year so that they could honor LOST's final season next year. Please?

Also, NPH was fantastic as host, and a tremendous improvement over the 5-host tag team from least year, and it was nice to hear Jeff Probst, who was part of that fiasco, say so. I also really liked the format change of doing all of the comedy awards together, all of the miniseries awards together, etc. because (1) it made easier to see how dominant some shows are (i.e., Mad Men, 30 Rock) and (2) it let me switch over and watch the Giants game while they handed out awards in categories I didn't care about.

All in all, it was a pretty satisfying and entertaining evening, even though I was wrong most of the time.

Check back tomorrow for a review of the How I Met Your Mother premiere.

Emmy Breakdown: Outstanding Drama Series, or a Mad Men Redux

Hello all! I hope you've had good weekends. The Emmys are just a few short hours away, and with that it's time to a take look at the last major category: Outstanding Drama Series. The nominees are:

• Big Love
• Breaking Bad
• Damages
• Dexter
  
• House
• Lost
  
• Mad Men
  

This is the fourth nomination for House, the third for Lost (one win), the second for Damages, Dexter, and Mad Men (one win), and the first for Big Love and Breaking Bad. I'm going to make this post a quick one, so first time nominees, thanks for playing, and I hope you've enjoyed the attention you've gotten, since you're probably not winning. Same goes for Dexter and House. Damages, if you're second season had been as good as your first, you might have a shot, but it wasn't, so you don't. That leaves Lost and Mad Men as viable contenders. The shows have differing strengths: Lost blends mind-blowing plot twists with the strength of its ensemble cast, while Mad Men's lush cinematography lets its characters deliver subdued yet powerful performances. Who you think should win this category depends on whether you prefer your TV with a side of whizz-bang-boom-OMFG-did-that-just-happen? or with a dose of thought provocation. I like both, but I think that Mad Men's second season got a little confusing toward the end, whereas Lost's fifth finished super, super strongly (Even four months later, WTF JULIET??!!!). So, for me......

Who should win: Lost
Who will win: Mad Men

Check back later this evening for a recap of the awards, or follow me on Twitter (http://twitter.com/dvrrulesmylife) as I share my thoughts and reactions in real time.

Emmy Breakdown: Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series, or Why Glenn Close Strikes Fear in the Hearts of Actresses Everywhere

The big show is just two short days away. And with that, I'm going to address the last of the major acting categories, Lead Actress in a Drama. I think it's very hard for a category to have the same set of nominees (plus one new one) and get even more competitive in a year's time, but that's exactly what happened here. The nominees are:

• Glenn Close as Patty Hewes, Damages
  
• Sally Field as Nora Walker, Brothers & Sisters
  
• Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson, Law & Order: SVU
  
• Holly Hunter as Grace Hanadarko, Saving Grace
  
• Elisabeth Moss as Peggy Olson, Mad Men
  
• Kyra Sedgwick as Brenda Johnson, The Closer
  

This is the sixth nomination for Hargitay (one win), fourth for Sedgwick, third nomination for Field (one win), second for Hunter and Close (Close won last year and was previously nominated for her work on The Shield), and the first nomination for Moss. I think it's fair to say that this category is stacked with talent. I mean, The Closer, Damages, and Saving Grace wouldn't really exist without their lead actresses, and while I love the rest of the Walkers, Sally Field brings a special brand of old-lady crazy to her role without making the character completely unlikable, and I couldn't imagine that show without her. I'm not the biggest procedural fan, but I think Hargitay does good work on SVU. She's didn't get 6 consecutive nominations for nothing. Moss is a very welcome addition to this category, because her performance as Peggy is completely captivating and one of the two main reasons I watch the show (the other being the inscrutable Don Draper).

So, given the immense wealth of talent here, who's going to win? Hargitay went through some tense contract negotiations, and while I'm not sure how that will affect her chances, she's not on my short list to win either. I don't watch Saving Grace or The Closer, so I can't comment on their performances, although after four nominations, Sedgwick should get something. Field is Field, but I didn't care for the goings on over on B&S this season, so I'm not liking her chances. That leaves us with Close and Moss, the great dame and the ingenue, the lion and the lamb. The contrast between these two is stark. Glenn Close is a powerful actress. Every look, every grimace, every slight move is always loaded with meaning. I've said this before and I'll say it again, Glenn Close giving her death stare directly to the camera for an hour so without moving or speaking would make one of the greatest horror movies of all time. Let's contrast that with Moss's sweet, naive Peggy, who's just trying to make her way in the world with a few ideas and a lot of gumption. Moss' performance is much more subdued, but no less wonderful. That being said, I think the real difference here is that Close elevates the material given to her versus Moss being elevated by the material given to her. Plus, really who's not going to give Glenn Close an award? Lady is scary. So......

Who Should Win: Glenn Close
Who Will Win: Glenn Close (Unless Moss or Sedgwick manage to steal it away)

Check back tomorrow for a look at the Best Drama race.

Emmy Breakdown: Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama

So it took me a while to get to this post, and I'm wondering now if it's because subconsciously this is the race I care least about. I think it might be. Let's dive in, shall we? And the nominees are:

• Rose Byrne as Ellen Parsons, Damages
  
• Hope Davis as Mia, In Treatment
  
• Cherry Jones as President Allison Taylor, 24
  
• Sandra Oh as Dr. Cristina Yang, Grey's Anatomy
  
• Dianne Wiest as Dr. Gina Toll, In Treatment
  
• Chandra Wilson as Dr. Miranda Bailey, Grey's Anatomy
  

This is the 5th nomination for Oh, the 4th nomination for Wilson, and the first nomination for the rest in their current roles. So I'm going to be honest here, I don't watch 24 or In Treatment so I'm not going to be able to comment on the performances of those actresses. I remember Davis briefly from Six Degrees and thought she was fine. I saw Cherry Jones play Sr. Aloysius in Doubt (which she won a Tony for, BTW), so I know she can act. And as for Wiest, I always remember her as the evil Queen from the NBC miniseries The 10th Kingdom, so it's hard for me to take her seriously, although I know she's a wonderful actress.

Now as for the other three, we all know I fucking love Damages, but the only reason Byrne is nominated is because the Glenn Close-halo effect forced her up her game as an actress, which is good, but she's not quite all the way there yet. I love, love her though and think she has great potential for next year. Now as for the Grey's ladies, some of are you are not going to agree with what I have to say, and others are going to be in utter disbelief given some comments I made about a certain plot line in the past, but, in all honestly, if anyone from Grey's deserves to win this year, it's Katherine Heigl. I know she's not nominated, but she sold the crap out of a storyline that went from ludicrous to heart wrenching and ludicrous, and was totally deserving of recognition, regardless of how people feel about her personality and comments she's made about the running of the show. Putting that opinion aside, Oh's storyline this season left me a little cold (aside from the episode where she dealt with being choked by Dr. Major Hunt), while Wilson's was also heart wrenching albeit in a different way. Watching her deal with the demise of her marriage was the most realistic plot on an increasingly absurd show, and Chandra Wilson really does deserve an award after all these years for creating a very complex character who I unequivocally love. So....

Who Should Win: Chandra Wilson
Who Will Win: Damned if I know

Check back tomorrow for my take on the Lead Actor - Drama race.

Patty Hewes: Castrating Men Since 1952

I'm worried about Damages. The frame story isn't strong, it isn't being used consistently, and the subplots are confliciting and distracting. It's like there are three different people arguing about what the season should about:

"This season is about Ellen's revenge!"

"No, it's about Ultima National Resources!"

"No it's about Patty versus Purcell!"

Even more troubling is the continued presence of Darrell Hammond, who I cannot look at without hearing "Like my friend, Joe the Plumber" from those SNL skits. It's terrible. The reintroduction of Katie Conner and the creepy cops from last season, while necessary, also make it feel like the show is moving backward. I think this show works the best when it has one plot to have it's characters conspire around. All this other stuff is distracting.

I'm going to ignore the questions format tonight, because the episode was pretty straightforward. Instead there are three things I would like to address:

1) Claire Maddox is a Naughty Girl
She is. She dumps Purcell, saying things have gotten too complicated. There are rumors that she's sleeping with Kendrick (which I don't think are true, but hey, you never know). Then she lets the young waiter from dinner take her home, and then leaves him to go smoke a cigarette alone. I bet she's freaky nasty. Since she seems a little older than a traditional cougar, I will from here on refer to her as Jaguar. Jaguar also totally had Patty's number about filing a shareholder lawsuit. That reminds me.....

2) FROBISHER IS THE PLAINTIFF
What. The. Fuck. Patty Hewes is one mean, mean, mean bitch. She humiliated this man, took everything he had away from him, and now he's willing to work with her? My guess is that he thinks he'll be able to take over UNR once Kendrick is ousted, which will never happen. I also think this is a way for Patty to start fucking with Ellen, because I think Patty knows Ellen is working with the Feds, given that Ellen insists on getting into random cars with them in broad daylight. If so, Patty is the BEST VILLAIN EVER, because that is cold. Cold, cold, cold.

3) Glenn Close is Scary Amazing
I know, I know you're sick of hearing this, but I just wanted to call out one thing: the courtroom scene at the end, when Patty is staring at Kendrick sizing him up, that was by far one of the best moments of the episode and didn't even require dialogue. I think I might be able to watch a show that solely consisted of Glenn Close making faces at people, because as I've said before, she says more with a single look than most people say with a 2 minute monologue. They should get Daniel Day Lewis on this show so he can make some of Daniel Plainview faces at her and she could make her Patty faces at him and we could all watch in awe.

Ok, so I'm going to stop there. I CANNOT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK WHEN ELLEN FINDS OUT ABOUT FROBIE. IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME. (And will hopefully assuage some of my fears about the show).

Country Roads, Take Me Far Away From Patty Hewes Please

Oh, Lordy, boys and girls, the bitch is back and she's going to be OUT FOR BLOOD. This is what I've been waiting for since the premiere. Bad Patty is back. I was very much tiring of the gentler Patty. It doesn't suit Glenn Close, and it doesn't suit the show. Patty is best when she's given fre reign to be a manipulator. Additionally, I hope to see more courtroom scenes between her and Claire Maddox, because I think their head to head is going to be AMAZING. Ok, so time to answer the questions for this week:

• Why did Purcell kill his wife? So this was the big reveal: he did do it. I don't think any of us are shocked there. Perhaps she goaded him into it? Perhaps she was in the pay of UNR? Perhaps she was having an affair with Sutry (Purcell's boss). Quite frankly, I don't care why he did it. I'm just glad that plot is over.
  
• Why did Purcell burn Patty? Oooh, now this is a good one. Why did he do it? Because he wanted to make sure they didn't come after his daughter too. That's what that first tete-a-tete between he and Patty was supposed to accomplish. But seriously, doesn't he know he's better off siding with Patty? Doesn't he know she will DESTROY him now that he's double crossed her? Especially after she showed some completely uncharacteristic kindness to him by letting him meet Michael. Dude, she is going to cut off your balls and eat them with some fava beans and side of nice chianti and she is GOING TO ENJOY IT. That look on her face at the end said it all. I'm scared y'all.
• Why is this UNR plot starting to feel like a Grisham novel? Or a little like a more sinister version of Erin Brockovich. Small town in a rural state (love West Virginia by the way), some kind of pollution/contamination/corruption, big lawsuit in the offing. It feels a little Runaway Jury + a little Pelican Brief to me. I'd like it to stay a bit fresher personally.
  
• Why in the hell would they cast Darrell Hammond as Sutry's go-to guy? Don't get me wrong, I think he's great---on SNL when he does his impressions. Here he was just a big old distraction. I was waiting for him to break into his McCain impression everytime I saw him. Poor casting choice.
• Who is Ellen getting money from? So we saw a bit more of the frame story tonight: Ellen gets a briefcase full of money from whoever she shoots. So the questions here are pretty basic: Who is it? Why are they giving her money? What does Ellen need money for? You know, just basically what the fuck is supposed to be going on. Again, not to return to my criticism from last week, but this weak frame story is hurting the sho and it's showing in the episodes: at first I thought the season was going to be about getting Purcell off murder charges, but now that's done. We've lost the FBI fake case for Patty, and now she may not even be going up against UNR. Last season it was Frobisher, Frobisher, Frobisher. Let's get some direction and go with it, please.
  
• Are we done with revisiting the 10 year ago period? Now that Michael has met Purcell, I would hope so, but something tells me no. And quite frankly I don't really want to see more scenes of Patty threatening Purcell in the past, because now she can do it in the present. Also, if we're going to the past, let's see the trial where Michael was conceived, or the first case where Patty crossed the line to the darkside, something else besides this. If anything, I think we should go with the second, because I'd love to know how Patty became Patty, because to quote another of my favorite shows "Bitches aren't born their made." (10 points to anyone who guess both the character and the show.)
  

So I think things are finally getting started, but I'm disappointed that it took so many episodes to make it happen. I leave you with two of my favorite Patty quotes from tonight:


"And Ellen, the next time I give you an assignment, just nod your head and get it done."--Patty. To my good friend who will remain nameless in order to remain innocent, who does this remind you of?

"You don't want to pursue this in court." "Why not?" "Because I'll destroy you."--Patty and Purcell. She will, Purcell, SHE FUCKING WILL AND IT WILL BE EPIC. EPIC!

Curiouser and Curiouser

First off, let me apologize for the delay in posts. Work has been crazy and I'm only just getting things back together now. Ok, so Damages. Things are slowly starting to come together, but I still have no idea where we're headed, probably because the frame story, which was absent tonight, is much less clear than it was last season (Ellen threatening someone in a chair versus Ellen having a dead fiancee----see what I mean?). Since things are still unclear I'm going to continue with my question and answer format:

1. Why is the FBI backing off? Well on the surface this seems like an easy one: They want to make sure Ellen hasn't blown her cover. Little do they realize that Patty has recreated 1984 in her offices. I just hope these agents are clean and aren't actually in someone else's pocket, or--even worse--in Patty's pocket as part of some elaborate scheme to ensure Ellen is loyal. I know that is a little far-fetched, but this is Patty Hewes we're talking about.
   
2. Why is Ellen so stupid? The FBI tells her Patty may know something, so back off, and what does Ellen do? (1) She uses the office computer to look up the connection between Patty and Purcell. I'm sorry, but if the woman has the office bugged, I'll bet she has some kind of keystroke tracking program installed on all of the computers. (2) She blatantly looks through old office files. Yeah, that's a good idea. (3) She calls the FBI from her Blackberry in her hotel room. Um, Ellen, if you really think Patty tried to have you killed why wouldn't she bug your hotel room as well? (4) SHE ASKS TOM POINT BLANK ABOUT PATTY AND PURCELL. Yeah, Ellen, asks Patty's lapdog questions about her personal life (And you've got to love Tom's response: "If Patty wanted us to know, she'd tell us." Grow a pair, dude.) (5) When Tom won't give her an answer, SHE ASKS PATTY. Which leads to my next point.
3. Why is Glenn Close such a good/scary actress? Go back and watch the scene where Ellen asks Patty about Purcell and Patty responds with "What are you implying Ellen?" Now slow it down and look at each of their eyes. Patty asks the question with what can only be called a look of glee, like a lion toying with it's prey before going in for the kill. Then we have Ellen, who is all wide-eyed like she's in over her head. I'm not sure if this was Rose Byrne acting or Rose Byrne being wide-eyed because she's just in awe of Glenn Close. It was kind of amazing.
4. Why is Patty opening up to Ellen? Patty, you tried to have her killed, play your cards a little bit closer to the vest. Unless this is some sort of calculated misdirection, which I totally would not put past Patty. And if that's the case, it seems to be working, because why would Ellen want the FBI to go back to a case that happened before Patty even had her own firm. I doubt she would have started her deviousness that early.
   
5. Why reveal now that Purcell is Michael's father? I'm guessing Michael is going to find this out later in the season, which will lead him to reveal some choice information about Patty in retaliation.
   
6. What is Purcell's relationship to the reported is West Virginia? No idea.
7. Did Purcell kill his wife? I think yes, or at the very least he paid to have her killed. She must have found something out about his dealings with Ultima National Resoures. What I do not know.
   
8. When did Purcell and Claire Maddox start their affair? I'd just like to know the context, that's all.
   

So that's it for my questions this week. I'll leave you with some quotes:

"Don't manage me......I'm not a goddamn child." "Then stop acting like one. Now shut your mouth and do as I say."---Purcell and Patty. You better listen to her, Purcell, if you know what's good for you.

"Have you ever met Daniel Purcell?" "Once or twice."--Purcell's boss and Claire Maddox. Oh yeah, she's "met" him all right.

"I don't believe a word you say."--Patty to Purcell. Pot calling the kettle black much?

"I Think Anyone is Capable of Anything"

I'm going to preface this post with the fact that I went to happy hour and had a very happy two hours. Therefore there are no quotes this time around (save for the title of this post, which came from Patty), as it was hard enough for me to just follow what was going on. As this was the second episode of the season, we've now been introduced to all the major players (I think) for the episodes going forward, so this episode laid a good amount of groundwork for what will come next. As such, I have A LOT of questions, which I will also attempt to provide answers to:

1. What is the relationship between Patty and Purcell? I'm very interested into why she's feels like she must help him. He did say that she owed him. But why? At first I thought he was the father of Patty's dead daughter Julia, but after seeing Patty's reaction to her son showing up at the office and crossing paths with Purcell, I'm tempted to say that Purcell's is actually Michael's father. After all, we knew last season that Patty's husband Phil was only stepfather to Michael, even though Michael considers him to be his real father, which makes me think that Michael has never known his biological father. So if I'm right and Purcell is Michael's biological father, then why doesn't Michael know, and why has Patty kept him away?
2. What is Timothy Olyphant's deal? (And on a different note what is his character's name? I still haven't caught it.) He is obviously obsessed with Frobie, given his closet full of guns and articles about Frobie. This also implies to me that Timothy Olyphant HAS ALWAYS known who Ellen was and what her relationship was to Frobie. I find it hard to believe that their connection is coincidence, that he just happened to be in the same grief group as her. Like Patty said, "Someone's always looking to play an angle." If this dude is using Ellen to somehow get at Frobie, I think he's in for a rude awakening. Which leads me to my next point.
   
3. Who's in the chair? I'm going to stick with my guess of Timothy Olyphant, and here's why: in the future plot, Ellen gets Tom to get a gun for her. Why? Because she needs to kill someone, which we do see. We also see Ellen sleeping with Timothy Olyphant, engaging in what seems like a casual relationship ("Don't be here when I get back.") I'm sorry, but I don't think Ellen Parsons, vengeful, focused Ellen Parsons, would be sleeping with someone so soon after David's death. Unless of course it gets her one step closer to her goal of destroying Patty. Why would Timothy Olyphant do that? Because he's been in Patty's pay all along, getting her information about Frobisher because he hates him for some reason (not sure why) and after the case ended, he someone remained in Patty's service and is now the mechanism Patty is using to keep tabs on Ellen. I think this explains why he showed up in the middle of the night to talk to Ellen. Also, I think Ellen will soon figure this out and use her sex to lull him into a false sense of security, before interogating him for information about Patty before ultimately killing him. I kind of hope I'm wrong, because I'd hate to have figured everything out so early.
   
4. What's the relationship between Patty and Claire Maddox (played by the incomparable Marcia Gay Harden)? So we know Patty and Purcell have a history, and--based on that last scene--Maddox and Purcell have a history. Therefore, it's not implausable that Patty and Maddox have some kind of history. It's too early to say what it is, but I do think it exists.
5. What does the FBI do now? Patty doesn't want the infant mortality case, and was able to stop Tom from doing anything stupid that would have allowed the FBI to get to him (only because Patty has the office bugged, which "duh" of course she does, she's Patty). Do they try to go in through the Ultima case. Or is this merely a sideline challenge for Ellen which will somehow tech her what she needs to know to take down Patty during Season 3 (which FX is already on board for, so you know the producers are thinking about it). I don't have a good answer to it yet, but I suspect one will come soon.
6. What was Purcell burning? Given the color and texture of the shots in that last sequence, I'm assuming it's the future, but someone please correct me if I'm wrong. This is another one that will go unanswered, but that I'm sure we'll find the answer to soon.
   

So I'm going to stop there. Does anyone else have questions I failed to address, or answers to the ones I couldn't? I'm all ears. Also, I came across this link which will let you download the show's theme song, "When I'm Through With You" by The VLA. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Jazz + Whiskey + Gun = I'm Intrigued

Damages, Damages, Damages, you really are wonderful. There's something about you that's intoxicating that's going to keep me coming back for more. You are well acted (for the most part), well plotted (I hope, it's too early to tell), and well shot and soundtracked (I dare you to watch any episode and disagree). I think I might be falling for you, Damages, so please, please don't let Patty try to have me killed. Thanks.

Now that we've got that covered, let's talk about the season premiere. Not the greatest episode ever, but very, very solid. I think it laid the necessary groundwork for a stellar season. Brief synopsis: Show opens and closes with Ellen waving a gun and talking to someone off camera about lying. Flash back to 6 months earlier; Patty is setting up a foundation to feed the hungry to clear her conscience about trying to have Ellen killed. What she failed to mention is that the foundation's purpose is to actually feed the hungry to herself for dinner every night, because I don't care what anyone says, Patty Hewes is the most sinister woman in the world. Ellen has joined a support group to try to get over her grief over her fiance's death, and she's still working with the Feds to have Patty brought down. Frobisher, henceforth known as Frobie, managed to survive and is recuperating in a private hospital. Some guy named Daniel Purcell who works for some mysterious corporation and has some mysterious connection to Patty, appeals to her for help, which she intially refuses, but then reconsiders after his wife turns up dead in what I'm sure is a set up, but hope is some kind of twist that it's not. Also, Timothy Olyphant (didn't catch the character's name) wants to have sex with Ellen.

Now for my thoughts. Let's start with those opening and closing scenes. I thought it was intriguing enough, but I couldn't help thinking how much better/scarier it would have been if Glenn Close was doing the talking. I'm not talking about her as Patty, but just her as the actress mind you. I don't know what it is about her, but Glenn Close can say more with one look, or one small movement, than most actresses can say with two hours of dialogue. I think Rose Byrne is great, but I don't think she can pull off this whole unhinged woman thing. She just winds up tensing up her body and making her face look vacant. That being said, I'm hoping that that improves as we go on.

Ok, so back to Patty. First off, let me say that as soon as that guy's daughter (the one who refused to donate to her foundation) walked into the office, I knew Patty was going to do something with her. Intially, I thought she would try to get her thrown out of Yale, but having her busted for cocaine (on her son's information no less) was a pure stroke of genius. Even better was taking the guy to the cleaners when he wanted back in on donating. That whole subplot was like watching a lion play with it's prey, letting it think it can escape before it goes in for the bloody kill. It was glorious.

As for this Daniel Purcell guy and his link to Patty, first off let me say that I never saw The Big Chill, so I'm not sure what the dynamic between William Hurt, who plays Purcell, and Glenn Close is supposed to evoke. That being said, I'm betting they had an affair. Also, I want to know what Purcell thinks Patty owes him, because if there's one thing I've learned, it's that Patty Hewes is in debt to no one; she just has them killed instead. I wonder if he's the father of her dead daughter. It would be interesting and would also justify reintroducing and explaining that small plot point from last year.

As for the reappearance of Frobie, I can't say I'm a fan. I thought we had put him to bed last season, and as much as I liked Ted Danson in the role, I don't think Ellen can balance two revenge plots at once. (And I don't buy for a second, her little talk with Timothy Olyphant about chosing forgiveness, because she's supposedly loved David so much, so why wouldn't she go after his killer as much as she went after Patty, hmm?). It is nice to see that he's still a self righteous prick even after having an attempt made on his life, asking his nurse to make him look sicker than he is so that his wife will pity him. Jerkface.

As for the fake case Ellen is trying to have Patty take, I think it will be interesting, although I have a sneaking suspicion it gets pushed in favor of the Purcell case.

I'm a little worried about the whole Patty as a tortured soul thing, because while it's believable and I love any excuse to have Zeljko Ivanek (Ray Fiske who very memorably killed himself in Patty's office last season) return, I don't want it to make Patty more likable or take her off her game, because like I said I love when she is a lion.

Also, let me say I don't trust Timothy Olyphant for a second and I'm wondering if he's the mechanism Uncle Pete is continuing to use to spy on Ellen. I'm also going to make a fearless prediction and say that he's the one sitting in the chair that Ellen is talking to and shoots at the end of the episode. (I also have trouble buying Ellen being able to kill in cold blood, but I think that's because she didn't sell the crazy routine very well at the beginning.)

A few other things of note:

• Totally loved Patty telling Ellen that whoever tried to kill her was actually trying to kill Patty. She's is a master manipulator and I wonder if she's planted a true seed of doubt or not.
  
• The whole Regis and Kelly bit was a funny, although a little out of place.
• Did anyone else notice Paige Turco as Purcell's wife. She's been in a bunch of stuff over the years, but to me she will forever be April O'Neill from the second and third Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies.
  
• I'm betting Ellen and Timothy Olyphant sleep together by episode 3 or 4.
  
• I'm a bit over having Tate Donovan around, unless he does something interesting soon. Patty doesn't need a lap dog.
  
• Does anyone know where I can download the theme song? I love it and am having trouble finding it.

Ok that's it for me. I apologize if this post was a bit disjointed, but given that not too much was revealed tonight, I tried to cover all the bases as best as possible. I think we are in for another wonderful ride this year, and with LOST coming back in two weeks, I think Wednesdays are ready to lay claim to the title of Best Night of TV Ever. I will leave you with my favorite quotes from the episode.

"The woman's full of shit."--Ellen about Patty after being on Regis and Kelly. Thank you Ellen for the exposition.

"Fine, watch her, I'm concerned about her well being."--Patty to Uncle Pete about Ellen, and by "concerned about her well-being" she means "waiting to see if the little bitch double-crosses me so I can kill her myself, probably by ripping her limb from limb because I'm a scary fucking bitch, so don't fuck with me, I won't be ignored, Dan, I mean Pete." (kudos to anyone who recognizes my movie reference).

"You don't know who I am, do you?" "Sure I do, why do you ask?" "Because I'm the most hated man in America, and you're being nice to me."--Frobie and his nurse. A bit dramatic, but then again Frobie was always heinously dramatic and self-involved.

"Except for the vagina."--Patty talking about why she's not one of the boys. Has anyone seen the movie Teeth? I suggest wiki-ing it and reading the cynopsis. You can draw your own conclusions as to why I suggest that.

Clip of the Day: So Ready to Start Having the Glenn Close Nightmares Again

Because the new season of Damages premieres tonight at 10 on FX. For those of you not familiar with the show, here is a recap of season 1, in 2 parts. Make sure you watch it with the lights on:

Clip of the Day: A Little Evidence

Because look at how Glenn Close goes from 0-Bitch in like 2 seconds:

No, Glenn Close, Please Don't Hurt Me!

Variety.com reported today that Damages will return to FX on Wednesday, January 7th. I'm torn by this news. It makes me both happy and scared. I'm happy because Damages is one of my favorite shows and one of the top 5 dramas on TV. It's well written, well acted, and slickly filmed. In short, it's amazing. At the same time, though, I'm scared because I don't want my Glenn Close nightmares to start again. The woman is a consummate actress and makes Patty Hewes a very scary lady. So scary in fact that there were a couple nights during the first season run where I would have nightmares about Patty Hewes trying to kill me. Yeah. I guess I'll just have to find a way to deal, because I will DEFINITELY be watching when it comes back. I've included a couple of the new seasons trailers below, and they look GOOD. Can you say excited?

Apparently These Emmys Were Planned By Meth Addicts

I look forward to the Emmys every year because they celebrate the thing I hold near ad dear to my heart: Television. I love seeing TV put up on a pedestal and applauded. What I do not like, however, is putting TV up on a pedestal, applauding it, then whacking it in the face with a rubber chicken, which was tonight's broadcast was like. Seriously, I'm thinking whoever planned this year's awards was on some serious drugs. How else do you explain the opening, where Howie Mandel literally COULD NOT SHUT UP? Or the fact they everyone kept saying "We're running behind, we're running behind," yet no one SHUT HOWIE MANDEL UP? Or that awful Laugh-In skit to announce nominees, then ANNOUNCING THE NOMINEES AGAIN? Perhaps it was necessary due to the Laugh-In skit being IN-FUCKING-COMPREHENSIBLE. Seriously? Seriously? This was you put together for TV's supposedly biggest night? Seriously? Shame on you ABC, shame on you.

Now on to the good stuff. The night marked Tina Fey's official coronation as Queen of Comedy (GO TINA!), what with her three Emmys for Writing, Acting, and Best Comedy, and Alec Baldwin winning for Lead Actor in a Comedy to boot. No one deserves the recognition more, and I hope this will encourage more people to go watch 30 Rock, because it's amazing. I was also pleased to see Damages pick up two acting awards Zeljko Ivanek for Best Supporting Actor and Glenn Close for Lead Actress, Drama. Personally, though, I would have been afraid to not give Glenn Close the award because I'd be scared of what she might do. Fortunately, that didn't happen.

Other things I liked:

• Oprah's opening monologue. Why didn't they let her host the show? She would have been better than that motley crew.
• Ricky Gervais taking his Emmy back from Steve Carrell and mocking Evan Almighty while doing it.
• Laura Linney winning for Lead Actress in a Miniseries. Lady deserves every kudos she gets.

Things I didn't like:

• Neil Patrick Harris NOT winning Best Supporting Actor Comedy. It was not legen-wait for it-dary, although Jeremy Piven winning for Entourage is a suitable alternative.
• Josh Groban singing those TV theme songs. Thank you for ruining them for me, Josh, really thanks.
• Chandra Wilson being passed over, AGAIN, in Supporting Actress Drama. Give lady her trophy already, please.
• Mad Men winning Best Drama. Now I'm sure it's a wonderful show and all, but I really wanted to see LOST win, because it was so amazing last season, and if not LOST then Damages, which was also amazing. I'm just a bit disappointed.
• Any and every one of the jokes the hosts attempted to make.
• And to reiterate, HOWIE MANDEL. I will not be watching Deal or No Deal anytime soon as retaliation for what he put me through his evening.
  

So ladies and gentlemen, are you happy with the way the awards played out? Or did one of your favorites lose and are you still angry about it? Discuss.