Thing That Made Die Inside: Sept 9

Ellen DeGeneres will be filling the empty 4th judge slot on American Idol this season. Uh.......what? I get that, for some strange reason, Fox really wants 4 judges, even though their incessant chattering will always make the show run over. But Ellen? Really?! Her musical background is what again exactly? Oh that's right. NONE. The shark has been so jumped that it's already been down to the police station to file a report about its missing wallet and cell phone. Twice. Yeah.

Tonight on American Id......ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

So I just watched the first semifinal episode, and I have to say, I was rather unimpressed. Most of these people were snoozers, even that crazy Tatiana, who the judges poked and prodded to get her to do something bonkers, but to no avail. I was really bored watching this episode and I hope next week is better. I think this semifinal format was a big mistake. There's no chance to get invested in any of these singers. I'm not going to bother breaking it down, but I'll give you my predictions for who gets through: Anoop Desai, Alexis Grace, and Danny Gokey.

"That's What She Said" Moment of the Night

"Let's both go down,"--New judge Kara DioGuardi to crazy old judge Paula Abdul on American Idol after trying to give a male contestant a critique. Michael Scott would be proud.

Where Are All The Good Singers?

They promised less of a focus on the bad singers this time around, but tonight's episode seemed to heavily focus on the bad/marginally good who won't make it past the next round, to the extent that they lumped three actually good singers together in a montage that lasted less than one minute. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. Shame on you, American Idol, shame.

Trying So Hard Not To Get Sucked In And Failing

So........American Idol is back. I know I usually look down on reality shows within this space, but American Idol isn't really a reality show; it's more of a cultural juggernaut which is impossible to escape. It's (supposedly) the American dream encapsulated and played out over a 4 month period. And try as I might to avoid it, I always, ALWAYS, get sucked in. Therefore, I'm acknowldging here and now that American Idol is back. And I don't just mean back on the air. I mean BACK back. I think we're going to get back to what the show is supposed to be about--finding good singers--and here's a couple of reasons why:

• First and foremost, new judge Kara DioGuardi. She's added some new life to the judges panel and it's nice to hear a fresh perspective. I also like how she seems to appreciate contestants who have worked at their music, even if they're not good. If you have a passion, go for it. Also, I love, love, love how she got up and called that girl in the bikini a bitch. Paula, Randy, and Simon would never have done that. I can't wait to see how they interact during Hollywood week.
  
• I like the renewed focus on good contestants and their backstories, even if they dragged on a little bit. Even though they had started making those changes last summer, I think it will prove a very wise move. Given the current state of the economy, the American public does on some level need some form of entertainment to give them hope, to prove that if you work hard and really believe your dreams will come true (which was kind of the new judge's message). I'm very interested to see what the ratings for tonight's premiere look like. I suspect at the very least the show will not see the year-over-year declines most shows have been experiencing. Also, I loved that they ended with the blind guy instead of some terrible singer. I hope dude gets to the final 12, he seems awesome.
  
• Ok so this is nothing really new, but Paula Abdul is bat shit crazy. All I had to do was see her seal clap just once to remember how happy her crazy talk makes me. I can't wait for her to say how much she loves smelling the colors of the song as it moves her closer to her Coke cup full of magic juice. I just hope her and new judge Kara go at it at some point because it will be FUNNY.
  

I'm not going to go into too many other specific details, and I'm probably not going to cover every single episode of the show, but I will check back in on it from time to time to let you all know my thoughts. Here's hoping that this season's bunch can live up to the heightened expectations. (And also, if any of you know how to get in touch with Brooke White, could you tell her I would really, really like it if she could come give me a hug, tell me everything is going to be ok, and then sing me to sleep? I'd really appreciate it, thanks.)