I Will Not Be Writing About This Show Anymore

It's not there's anything particularly wrong with 90210 (besides it's penchant for cheese), but there's not really anything right with it either. Every time I watch it, I can't help but think it's just a poor shadow of GG. In addition, the predictability is starting to irritate even me, who loves being able to say what's going to happen next. Now I'm not saying I'm not going to keep watching, but there is no way I'm going to keep writing about it. I just don't care enough. And with that, I bid adieu to 90210.

I Had Too Much Cheese, I Think I'm Going to Puke

Caveat: I think I may have misread this show last week, because tonight was so cheesy I thought I would die. I think I need to rewatch the second half of the pilot, b/c the first half definitely wasn't this cheesy, and I think that's what I based my opinion on. That being said, let's dive right in.

Tonight's episode was all about family, and if you didn't pick up on it, you might be the thickest person in the world (which also means you might not get my humor, so please go away). The Wilson parents want to have a family night with their kids on a Friday, which everyone in the real world knows NEVER happens, but the kids go along with it to appease their parents. They do, however, invite their friends to join them. Silver is more than happy to oblige because her mother is an ALCOHOLIC (which we should all remember from the original show. Call me crazy, but I think I remember an episode of her falling through a glass table). Apparently Silver has been staying at a women's shelter to avoid going home. When Dixon finds her sleeping in her car, they have a heart to heart about how he comes from a similar background (thanks for the backstory, show) which I'm sure will only lead to kisses and hook ups very soon. To remedy the situation, Dixon tells his dad, who tells Kelly, who confronts Jackie (the mother) and takes Silver home to live with her. Still with me?

In the other main plot tonight, Naomi finds out that her dad is cheating on her mom (thus shattering her image of her FAMILY--see the theme again? Good, go have a cookie.) The kicker is that mom already knows and is ok with it, because she wants to keep her family together. Naomi is shocked and appalled (and a little hypocritical considering that she very publicly made out with another guy to make her boyfriend jealous. I'm just saying.)

Other things I liked:

• Kelly dating the young teacher. I think someone wants to become a cougar.
• Ethan jokingly likening himself to Spencer from The Hills. That was just funny.
• Jessica Stroup, the actress who plays Silver. She makes the best of bad dialogue. Kudos to her.
  
• The montage to Leona Lewis' "Better in Time" at the end. Way to hammer the message home, show, about how things will get better. I couldn't figure that out for myself. (I love obvious song choices, because they're hilarious).
  
• The reappearance of the theme song, just because I like it.
• Annie being less annoying. I'm not sure if it's because we saw less of her or because she's not as whiny. This will be something to monitor closely in the coming weeks.
  

Things I didn't like:

• The show's insistence on pairing Annie with Ethan. Can we break from the formula a little please?
• The predictability. As soon as Naomi said she was bringing her dad food, I knew he was having an affair. Although I really should have known when he bought her the car. I shall do better.
• The complete absence of Grandma. How am I supposed to quote Lucille when you don't even give her screen time, show? Don't let it happen again.
• The Glade commercials. While not a part of the show itself, I cannot understand why they are airing during a teen drama. (Hypothesis: they're targeted at fans of the original who are old enough to ave houses and care about candles).

And now time for some quotes:

"Silver, you've got to trust my dad. Or at least trust me." --Dixon (cheesy line of the night).

"My own Dad is blocking me." --Dixon (I believe you left out a word in your sentence, sir.)

"Babe you sound pitchy." "You sound bitchy." --Naomi and Adriana. (This is what passes for bitchy dialogue on this show. S, B, and GG would eat them alive.)


One final thing: WHO IS KELLY'S BABY DADDY? They kept talking about "him" and how she had history with "him" back in high school. Now if I remember correctly, Kelly didn't start dating Brandon until college, which means dear old dad is probably Dylan, right? I get that they're dragging the reveal out to keep old fans engaged, but quite frankly, we all know dude has a name, so why not just reveal it already?

I'm still not sure how I feel about this show, and as Tuesday's continue to get more crowded for me, I'm not sure how much longer I'll go. I will give it another shot though, which means I'll be back next week with more thoughts about these crazy kids.

Clip of the Day: Throwback

Because we should remember the original (90210) as we embrace the new (9021-NO):

I Like It, I Like It Not, I Like It, I Like It Not

On October 4, 1990 the fledging Fox network aired a 1 hour drama pilot about a family with two teenagers who move from Minnesota to California. That show was Beverly Hills, 90210, turned into a success and became a pillar of the Fox schedule for the next 10 years and launched the careers of its many young teen stars. Fast forward to Sept 2, 2008: the fledging CW network, desperate for a huge hit in its 3rd season of existence, resurrects Beverly Hills in 90210, a spin-off set in the world of the original show but featuring a new cast of young pretty people. The CWis hoping that the new show will take off like the original, but, ladies and gentleman, this is not your mom's 90210, which may not be a bad thing.

9021-NO (as I will from here on refer to the show) just feels very different from the original to me so far (caveat: I was 14 when the original show ended, so I'm going on somewhat fuzzy memories here). Case-in-point: in the first 5 minutes we have car fellatio (you can fill in the slang term), prescription pill drug deals, and Spring Awakening as the school musical. Yeah. I think Brandon and Brenda would have ended their first day in tears if they were students at the current West Beverly High, but then again so would Donna, David, Kelly, and Steve. (Dylan would never cry, he'd probably just be in a band now). I think the differences will be an asset though, but I cant be sure. Let's break it down:

Stuff I Like:

• The bitchtastic-ness: Naomi reminds me of a nicer version of Regina from Mean Girls, and Silver is just HOT (plus you've got to love a blogger). That pil-popping girl stealing Naomi's purse was priceless. They need to dial up the bitchy a bit more to make this better (although I think GG already has that covered, so maybe not).
• The throwbacks to the original: I like seeing Kelly and Brenda and seeing Kelly's sister Silver grown up. Along the same lines, who is Kelly's baby-daddy?! I want to KNOW.
• Grandma: If you've been reading my blog, you know I like Jessica Walter (my two Arrested Development clips of the day were of her), and I think she's doing an AMAZING job of channeling Lucille here. See the end of this post for some of her priceless quotes.
• The pretty people: I think this one explains itself.
  

Things I Don't Like:

• Annie: Girl needs to drop the sweet act. It's annoying. And forgettable. (Case-in-point: a good friend who was watching tonight couldn't seem to remember her name. Not a good start for Miss Grimes).
• Too much music during the first hour: If I wanted to listen to my iPod, I would have. Also, I counted at least two songs that I had heard last season on GG. (Although they do say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery).

Things I'm Not Sure About:

• The parents: Don't get me wrong. I like Lori Laughlin as much as the next guy (she will here on be referred to as Aunt Becky in recognition of her best known role on Full House) and the dad seems ok too, but in the original Mr. and Mrs. Walsh were more background characters and here the creators seem to be trying to integrate them more into the plot. Which leads me to my next point:
• The number of characters: between old and new, there are A LOT of people to account and for and A LOT of backstory. I love shows that require you to pay attention and remember, but this could prove to be too much for some people.
  
• The identity of the mystery son: ok so this one isn't as much a concern about the show as it is something I'm curious about. My fearless prediction: the son is Mr. Matthews, the English teacher. He coaches lacrosse and the Dad played lacrosse. Plus they kind of look alike. If this winds up being true I expect you to give me credit.
  

So those are my thoughts. Now time for quotes (they're a little salty, but very funny--for the most part):

"Are you breaking up with me?"--Naomi
"I'm breaking up with us."--Ethan (And that sound you hear is me gagging. Ughh.)


"Never worry about being fair. Just grab on to those jewels and twist them like a garbage bag." -- Grandma

"Or even better I could drive you home and we could swap stories about Harry's penis." -- Aunt Becky

"Look at her ass. You could crack an egg on it. And I say that because when I was her age, Ricardo Montalban literally cracked one on mine. I won't tell the rest of the story, because I don't remember it." -- Grandma

"I need to finish my memoirs before my friend Virginia does. We slept with all the same people." -- Grandma (I have a feeling I will be quoting Grandma a lot).

So what do you think? Is 9021-NO worth another look? I think so, but I don't know if it will become a must see show for me.