"It's like like this generation's A Tale of Two Cities or Oliver Twist.''

Apocalypse watchers take note: tonight marks the return of the inexplicable MTV phenomenon The Hills. I would give you an overview of the show, but I refuse to perpetuate the imbecility and vapidness that this show creates among teenagers and twentysomethings. In a recent cover story on the show, Entertainment Weekly quoted Tony DiSanto, VP of series programming at MTV, who liked the show to Dickens' great novels. All I have to say is: YOU'VE GOT TO BE (EXPLETIVE) KIDDING ME!!!!! I could list off the myriad reasons why it barely qualifies as a show, but to liken it to classic works of literature? Really? Have we as a country become so stupid and idiotic that we think this is our society's magnum opus? If so, then we are truly like Rome before the fall of the empire. Now this is not to say that I won't watch it, because I will, knowing that it will be water cooler talk tomorrow at work, BUT I will not enjoy it. (Ok, maybe I'll enjoy it, but I certainly WILL NOT think it's wonderful television; I reserve that categorization for only the best serialized dramas and single-camera comedies.) So, ladies and gentleman, if you are going to watch The Hills, enjoy it, but I ask you to think about what that enjoyment is actually costing you and society at large (The answer: many, many brain cells and increasing the likelihood that Spiedi will get that variety show after all, which would truly be the 7th sign of the apocalypse.) Good day.