True Blood Finale: "You're the maid of honor, you have to lick the egg."

SPOILER WARNING: If you have not seen the True Blood season finale, please read no further. If you have seen the season finale, read on at your own peril.


So, that episode was a doozy, no? Oh what, only half of it was? Well, yeah, you're right. First off, GOODBYE, MARYANN. I am very, very sad to see you go. Michelle Forbes, I tip my hat to you. You sold Maryann's brand of crazy like a pumpkin spice latte on the first day of September (which is quite, quite well.) My one real gripe with tonight's episode was that they disposed of Maryann far to early in the episode. There was a small part of me that hoped she would somehow be able to continue on with us to next year. I mean, who else could pull off a line like
"You're the maid of honor, you have to lick the egg" ? No one, that's who. Also, I totally loved Sam's Mortal Kombat-esque disposal of her (i.e., ripping her heart from her chest), and how she was all excited because she thought he was "the god who comes." (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. Sorry.)

I didn't care for the way the rest of the episode played out. I thought it was a little slow paced, although watching the townsfolk try to piece their memories back together provided quite a bit of humor: "I heard that MaryAnn Forrester was an agent for the pharmaceutical companies and the liberal media." Hehe.

The end of the episode set up two plot lines for next season: (1) Sam is going to try to find his birth parents, which will either be interesting or a snoozer, and (2) BILL WAS KIDNAPPED. After proposing to Sookie, that is. (Also, if Bill and Sookie wind up getting married I might vomit, because I find the two of them nauseating.) Who do we think did it? I think we're supposed to be made to believe that it was Eric, which makes me say probably not. Lorena? That crazy Queen Sophie-Ann? (She is also my new favorite, by the way.) We'll have a full year to speculate because True Blood won't be returning until next summer. I don't know where I'm going to get my fill of vampire sex from in the interim, but I'll bravely try to do without it. In the interim, let me leave you with a few quotes:

"Come on, what are you?" "I'm a waitress, what the fuck are you?" Maryann and Sookie. Not quite as good as Sookie's "I'd prefer cancer" from Episode 2.03, but it'll do.

"You're the maid of honor, you have to lick the egg"--Maryann. Boy am I going to miss her.

"God with horns, worship him bitches." --Lafayette

"You may have your faults Andy, but at least you've got pants on"--Sheriff, who did not have his pants on.

"I heard that MaryAnn Forrester was an agent for the pharmaceutical companies and the liberal media."--Woman in diner. You know they talk about Barack the same way. Mmmhmmmm.