September 9th: GLEE, 9 p.m. Wednesdays, Fox
It's fitting that I start out with the show that I think is the biggest wild card of the upcoming season. Glee is about, well, a high school glee club and all of the associated trials and tribulations. We have the popular jock who looking to be more than just a jock, the outcast girl who pines for the popular jock, the schoolteacher who loves teaching, the shrill wife, the wallflower, etc., etc. None of these things make Glee any different from all the other high school dramas or comedies or dramedies we've seen over the years. Nope, the thing that sets Glee apart is that it is essentially a musical. As we know, shows that incorporate characters singing on a regular basis have not fared well on network television, just take a look at Cop Rock and Viva Laughlin. Actually, don't, because they are awful, awful clips from awful, awful shows. The good thing is, I don't think Glee is going to suffer the same fate. It's a musical in the way the movie Once was a musical, as in that when characters sing on Glee it's because the situation calls for it (practice, competition, etc.) At least that's true for the episode I've seen. I'm willing to give Glee a shot, but I promise as soon as it veers into Cop Rock territory, I'm changing the channel.
September 14th: THE JAY LENO SHOW, 10 p.m. Weeknights, NBC
Do not watch this show. If you like scripted television, do not watch this show. If you know someone who likes scripted television, do not watch this show. If you believe in goodness or happiness, do not watch this show. If you have a soul, DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW. Armageddon is upon us TV fans: NBC is taking 5 hours of its nightly schedule away from thought-provoking adult dramas and giving them to one man, Jay fucking Leno. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the guy, but he has no place in prime time. It makes me absolutely and utterly sad to think that NBC, the network that brought us Friends, Seinfeld, Fraiser, ER, Cheers, The Cosby Show, Mad About You, Hill St. Blues, St. Elsewhere, and even Miami Vice, is abandoning that history, that legacy of strong, quality, enter-fucking-taining programming, and going with a cheap talk show. NBC would argue that television viewership is down across the board so this makes good commercial sense for them, and while, yes, nightly ratings may be dropping, people will still watch good television when given the chance. NBC just doesn't know how to produce good shows anymore (The Office and 30 Rock excluded), so they're taking the easy way out. For shame, NBC, for shame. Please, I beg you, do not watch this show.
September 17th: COMMUNITY, 9:30 p.m. Thursdays, NBC
If you've been a reader of this space before, you know I love a little show on E! called The Soup, hosted by Joel McHale. Well, boys and girls, Christmas is coming early this year, because McHale, a hilariously funny and witty and sharp individual, is finally getting his own show. In Community, he plays Jeff, a suspended lawyer who is back in school after his college degree is deemed invalid by the State Bar. The cast includes Chevy Chase and Ken Jeong (the Asian guy from The Hangover). If this show can't bring people back to NBC, nothing can. You can view the trailer here. At the very least, watching will help prevent NBC from expanding Leno to 90 minutes on Thursdays.
September 23rd: COUGAR TOWN, 9:30 p.m. Wednesdays, ABC
Do I even need to say anything? The show stars Courtney Cox and has the word COUGAR in the title. Courtney Cox is a COUGAR. Therefore this show is about COUGARS. ABC is airing a show about COUGARS. ABC is airing a show about COUGARS starring Courtney Cox. COUGARS, COUGARS, COUGARS, Courtney Cox, COUGARS. COUGARS. I hope this show is good, because COUGARS. Courtney Cox.
September 24th: FLASHFORWARD, 8 p.m. Thursdays, ABC
Created by Brannon Braga (Star Trek: TNG and Voyager, which makes him my hero) and David S. Goyer (a co-writer on a little film called The Dark Knight, which you may have seen), this show is about what happens after every person on the planet blacks out for 2 minutes and 17 seconds and sees a vision of their life 6 months in the future. This show is the clear heir to LOST (which wraps up next spring) and I'll be damned if I'm not ready to watch every minute of it. Besides it's wonderful creative pedigree, the show also stars LOST veterans Sonya Walger (Penny!) and Dominic Monaghan (Charlie!), as wells such familiar faces as John Cho, Gabrielle Union, and Joseph Fiennes. You can watch the promo here. I'm going to go ahead and say that this is my early pick for new favorite show of the season.
Other new shows:
- Sept 8: Melrose Place (9 p.m., The CW). Because one crappy CW remake wasn't enough. Oh you're still considering watching? Well Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is the star. There, I knew I could convince you.
- Sept 10: Vampire Diaries (8 p.m., The CW). This show looks just like Twilight, which depending on how you feel about that madness might determine your interest. If you'd like to watch a truly great TV show about vampires, go watch True Blood. Or get some Buffy DVDs. Either works. But especially True Blood.
- Sept 16: The Beautiful Life (9 p.m., The CW). This show is about Mischa Barton being a model and most likely a hot mess. Don't say I didn't warn you.
- Sept 21: Accidentally on Purpose (8:30 p.m., CBS). Jenna Elfman plays a woman who gets knocked up. I'm sure I will watch this once or twice accidentally on purpose after HIMYM as I anticipate what the boobs will be up to at 9 p.m.
- Sept 22: The Forgotten (10 p.m., ABC). Christian Slater stars as a former cop solving John and Jane Doe murder mysteries. Wait, what did I say this was about? I've....forgotten.
- Sept 22: The Good Wife (10 p.m., CBS). The only thing I know about this show is that Julianna Margulies looks like Famke Janssen in the posters.
- Sept 23: Mercy (8 p.m., NBC). Georgina Sparks plays a nurse. That idea scares me. If you don't watch, Leno gets this timeslot too.
- Sept 23: Eastwick (10 p.m., ABC). Lipstick Jungle with magic powers. No thank you.
- Sept 27: The Cleveland Show (8:30 p.m., Fox). Quagmire's Quagmire would have made a much better Family Guy spin-off, don't you think?
