True Story: Ivy League Schools Make People Go Bat-Shit Crazy

Is it the red-brick buildings? The grassy quads? The wood paneled libraries? The smell of money in the air? Whatever it is, something about Ivy League schools turns normal, studious teenagers into crazy, desperate, will-do-absolutely-positively-anything-to-get-in-yes-anything people. Or wait, may it's just the real Ivies (just kidding!). Tonight Gossip Girl went to Yale, and we were all the better for it, the much, much better for it. So what did our little boys and girls do to try to get into Yale? Let's review:

• S, who was originally supposed to spend the weekend at Brown but instead went to Yale to piss off Blair b/c she had received a personal invitation from the Dean who had been following her page 6 exploits, charmed everyone she came into contact with as they all bowed down to the altar of Serena (like all good boys and girls do).
• B, desperate to impress the Dean and outshine Serena (as if that could happen), became increasingly unhinged as she tried to score an invite to the Dean's private party, going so far as to bribe the Dean's secretary with porcelain cats and sabotage Serena during the Dean's parlor game by mentioning the guy she killed (although she didn't actually kill him as we remember from last spring--and kudos to Serena for not letting it get to her, girl is going to be wonderful at whatever she winds up doing in life).
• Dan, the poor boy from the expensive loft in Brooklyn, spent the weekend trying to get an additional recommendation letter because he had to make up for the one he was totally responsible for not getting, being judgemental, and getting tied up by the Skull and Bones, who thought he was Nate. Speaking of...
• Nate, the poor little rich boy, spent the weekend using his man bangs to attract pretty English students, pretending to be Dan Humphrey, befriending Dan Humphrey, and wearing my blue argyle sweater from Banana Republic.
• Chuck Bass spent the weekend being Chuck Bass, which involved trying to impress the Skull and Bones-ites, then totally fucking them over when they wanted him to betray Nate. He gave them Dan instead, which neither they, nor Nate, nor Dan appreciated.

In the evening's C- minus plot, Jenny is still an awesome designer and will still be dropping out of school to still be Eleanor's protege while Rufus still disapproved and was still in love with Lily (who looked very cougarish tonight) while Vanessa was still boring and annoying and up in other people's business because she has none of her own. That about covers that.

Other things I liked:

• The My Fair Lady/Pygmalion opening sequence, because it provides further evidence that this is a very smart show. Other evidence: the literary references (Marquez and Georges Sand tonight)
• The way the show talked about the weird dynamics between the different Ivies, which is tough to understand if you don't know, but the show obviously does. Also, mentioning Senator's Schumer's daughter, who does indeed go to Harvard, was a nice realistic touch.
  
• THE CATFIGHT. I've waited until now to mention THE CATFIGHT because it wasn't quite as good as I had hoped, but it was still pretty FREAKING AWESOME. I love it when S and B throw down, and I like it when they make up, because then B can direct her manipulative crazy at someone else, which it seems like she's going to do next week (YES!)
• Serena talking about the Tudors, because this show makes good pop culture references, and I love good pop culture references.
• This quote from Michael Ausiello, from a story saying that we will be getting TWO EXTRA EPISODES OF GG this season, because I think it's pretty on point: "BTW, Gossip Girl is all new tonight. It's the episode where Serena and Blair beat the crap out of each other and I, in turn, thank God for inventing TV."

Thing I didn't like:

• The parting shot, which was of Columbia, not Yale (minor point I know, but I had to put something here, or else it would make me seem biased, because I'm not biased toward this show..........yeah right).

And now time for quotes (there's a bunch tonight):

"If there's one thing I know, its that I give good interview. I could make Larry King cry."--B (I bet she really could).

"I heard Marc Jacobs named a purse after her."--Dorota about S

"Everyone knows that the only real Ivies are the Holy Trinity: Harvard, Yale, and Princeton."--B (Zing!)

"Have fun in Providence, and maybe you can get your hair dreadlocked while you're there."--B to S about Brown

"When it comes to war, the rule is never retreat, never surrender....but whoever said that, never met the new Serena."--GG (even GG calls her new Serena)

"What's your answer? Let me guess: Lauren Conrad."--B to S. (In reality, I think Lauren Conrad would want to meet S, not the other way around).

"Do you ever get tired of carrying that chip on your shoulder around? No wonder Serena dumped you."--Nate to Dan (Thank you, Nate, for saying what everyone else is always thinking).

"I hate that stupid headband."--S to B during the catfight.

"You may be the future leaders of America, but you're under the control of Chuck Bass. I own you."--Chuck Bass (That was awesome)

I love this show, and I'm really looking forward to next week, when it seems like the show will be reenacting the plot of Cruel Intentions, which will probably make time stop and the universe explode.

I. CAN'T. WAIT.