Oprah Really Can Solve All Problems

This is the episode I was waiting for. While I enjoyed last week's season premiere of 30 Rock, I thought it was a little slow. That was not the case tonight. Not at all. Because tonight we had OPRAH. Or at least what Liz thought was Oprah but was actually a 12 year old girl (I really want those pills Liz took on the plane, I bet they're wonderful). I loved that Liz went all word vomit as soon as Oprah sat down, because I bet people do that to her all the time. I mean women flip their shit for her. You've seen those Oprah's Favorite Things episodes. You know. I also loved how Liz thought everything was going to be ok because "Oprah is coming." That's like when I say "Everything's going to be fine," and then start laughing like a crazy person (those of you who work with me know what I'm talking about). But everything was ok in the end, because the little girl who wasn't Oprah got Tracy and Jenna to make up. That proved my theory that merely saying Oprah's name will make good things happen (basically the opposite of the whole Bloody Mary thing).

Other things I thought were good:

• Tracy dressed as a white woman because (1) it reminded me of Tyra (2) it reminded me of a blond version of the little girl from The Ring (3) it reminded me of those "I'm Carol" sketches from SNL (4) it was hilarious. Jenna in blackface, not so much.
  
• Jack tempting Kenneth to steal cable. Because obviously he was going to crack. everyone cracks in the face of cable. CABLE IS ALL THAT MATTERS. (I kinda like TV, but I'm guessing you guys already know that).
• The whole "Who has it harder, black men or women?" thing, because I know Tina Fey knew this episode was going to air after the election and she wanted to get some last minute digs in. Not that she doesn't love Obama now, because we all do.
• The women following Liz around after she told them about Oprah, because I could totally see them doing shit like that in real life.
  

Things I did not like:

• The stuff about faking Olympic events, because that's not cool (although if it meant I wouldn't have to watch diving, then I'm all for it.)

And I think that's it. Now time for quotes:

"Comanaprasil? May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime." "It's very good."--Liz and Jack

"Do you know who I am? Seriously, tell me who I am."--Tracy Jordan in the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese

"I don't really think it's fair for me to be on a jury because I can read thoughts."--Liz Lemon in her Princess Leia costume getting out of jury duty. Yes it is just as ridiculously awesome as it sounds.

"Oh I don't believe in hypothetical situations, Mr. Donaghy. It's like lying to your brain."--Kenneth.

"Oh would you say 'Please welcome Liz Lemonnnnnn.'" "No."--Liz and Oprah

"This is worse than when you wore your shorts to work."--Jack to Liz about Jenna dressed as a black man and Tracy dressed as a white woman with a monster hand. I can't really see Liz in shorts being worse

"Oprah smells like rose water and warm laundry."--Liz to the minions following her around. I also bet she smells like money.

"Is Sponge Bob Square Pants supposed to be terrifying?"--Kenneth. Yes, Kenneth, yes he is.

I really enjoyed tonight's episode and I can't wait for next week. 30 Rock is back!